My XDS isn't as comfortable to hold as my XDM; I agree with you--the width is a bit too narrow. All three of my pistols (2 x XDM, 1 x XDS) have the same grip texture which I do not mind at all. Personal preference...everybody's different. As they said above, the texture on the 2.0 is different.
If I didn't EDC in a Sneaky Pete holster, I wouldn't have bought the XDS. I'd have preferred to carry the XDM Compact, but Pete doesn't make a holster for it. My main consideration on carrying is I don't want it inside my waistband, and I don't want to open carry either. (I don't want any snowflakes to have a freakout in the grocery store.) The overwhelming majority of folks only see a fanny pack, not a holster. The only people to recognize it for what it is so far were gun guys--who are much less likely to have a cow than the general public.
Oddly, the pistol that feels the very best in my hand is the XDM Compact with a pinkie grip on the magazine. The XDM Competition grip is a teeny bit thicker but gives me somewhat tighter groups. Go figure.
Good luck in your quest.
