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To add my .02...

My wife is taking tactical training with her XD45/4", and it's been her favorite pistol of all we have.
But .45 is about twice as expensive nowadays, so I just ordered her an XDM9 in 4.5" barrel specifically to save on ammo costs while training.
I told her to consider her XD45 as it feels in her hand, and to decide whether she wanted the "same" pistol but with a barrel .2" shorter, or .5" longer.
She didn't hesitate at all, saying she wanted the longer one because it's not that much longer to make a difference carrying, and as a plus, it would have less muzzle flip.
Since she most often carries a pistol in her Galco gun purse, that extra .5" barrel doesn't make any difference at all (although, she'll likely continue to carry the XD45 as her purse gun anyway).
I carry a stainless Colt Commander often, and I also don't see that carrying the 4.5" XDM is any more difficult to conceal than a Commander except for the thickness of the XD/XDM pistol overall, and they're all very similar anyway in that regard.

I shoot (and also carry) the XD9SC and have no problem with it, but for training, I mostly use the extended mags. I'm glad she chose what she did with the XDM9/4.5" (Bi-tone ;) ) because I have a feeling that I'm going to have to borrow it some.
The 3.8" XDM is almost an inch longer than my XD9SC, and there is no equivilant XDM to the XD9SC, so if I simply want the smallest pistol of the brand, I already have it.
 
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