First off, there is no such thing as .357mag +P. Any manufacturer that claims they make it is full of (dung).
Second off, it's not necessary to go to a +P round in 9mm to get good terminal performance.
Third--read this:
Best Choices for Self Defense Ammo
Not only does it give ammo recommendations that will pass IWBA/FBI specs, but it also tells you why it's good to have ammo that passes these tests.
Note that there are many choices for 9mm loads that are not +P--and also note they are all 147gr loads. Try picking one of them, and--THIS IS IMPORTANT--have your father put a few magazines of it--ENTIRE magazines--through his pistol--he should do it, not you. If they are 100% reliable, and shoots with what he considers acceptible control and accuracy, he's got a good load for his pistol. Stock up.
As for .357 mag--I'd go with either a good 125 or 158gr JHP load. I like Gold Dots.