I too did all sorts of research before deciding on my first firearm. My online research lead me toward the XD 45. In addition, a friend of mine highly recommended it warning me that it would "multiply". I'm looking for an XD or XDm 9 for my CCW class next year... but let's not get sidetracked.
XDs in general were reported in this forum and reviews on other sites as having great accuracy, very manageable recoil, and excellent ergonomics. With that, I continued on my search. I looked for a range that had some to rent and fired a number of firearms before settling. After all this I realized that the most comfortable firearm in my hand was the XD45. Although I liked the Sigs a lot, I was able to pick up the XD and shoot it more accurately from the beginning. This is something that many people stressed. Although some guns highly recommended, the only gun that matters to you is the one that YOU can shoot accurately.
I wasn't really ready to buy one just yet but I ran across a deal I couldn't pass up. I found my gun for $440 (this was just before the election... lucky me). I bought the gun knowing that it wouldn't be a bad decision. However, it was at this point that I realized that I needed to be educated. So I read everything I could on safety, etc. Finally, I decided that the best way to learn was from an expert. I, therefore, have signed myself up for the NRA sanctioned courses in "Basic Pistol" and "Home Defense with a Pistol". In the future, I will consider CCW but I am not ready for that responsibility yet.
Anyways, I've given you the long story above just so you don't feel like you're alone. Take your time and do it right. As gsh341 and others have pointed out, the gun is always loaded! I did not even buy ammo until two weeks after I purchased my firearm because I was concerned with my subconscious habit of putting my finger inside the trigger guard when picking up the firearm. I conditioned myself over time to always keep the finger outside the guard and along the frame. I'm not saying that you will have these troubles but I did, so I took the time to fix them. As a friend of mine, an LEO, has said to me many times, "you cannot call bullets back!"
Oh, one last thing. I too used to keep my gun and ammo separate in a safe. However, as I continued to educate myself, I started to realize that most aggressive/aggravated assaults or invasions occur within seconds. This, in effect, renders my firearm ineffective while in a safe away from me. I then decided that it was necessary to keep it by me in a quick access safe by the bed. Trust me, my friends argued and argued with me about keeping my gun in my far away safe but it took some more self-realization for me to understand what they were really talking about.
Sorry for being so long winded but it seems that we've traveled similar paths.