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Mentioned to my wife I would like to get a handgun. (I'm thinking XD9T to be exact) She said she's not sure. I know before (a couple of years ago) she said she read somewhere that a handgun is more likely to be used against you in an attack or home invasion. Not sure how true that is, but I'm sure it happens. The other thing is, now we have a 2 1/2 year old boy and one on the way. I'm sure she's thinking about that too. But the thing is, I already have two shotguns and two rifles in the gun cabinet and also a bow. I guess I don't get it.
What can I tell her to re-assure her? From what I've read, the XD seems to be one of the safest handguns a beginner can get, right? With all the safeties and stuff? (grip safety, trigger safety, etc.)
What kind of safes or lockable storage is there? I know the XD comes with a cable lock, right? And I think I saw a handgun-sized safe that had four or five buttons on it in the shape of a hand and you put your hand on it and had to push the right combo to get it to open? Anybody know anything about those or how good they are or something else good?
It's not like I'm going to leave the thing laying around loaded. She knows that, just paranoid or something.
Sorry for the long post, but just wanted to let you know what I was thinking and ask for your help too.
Thanks
TH
 

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Its better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. :twisted:
 

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I've got one of the safes you're talking about. It's a pretty good safe and I'd recommend it to anyone with children in the house. Battery life in the thing is amazing. IIRC you can also pick up a power cable for it so you don't drain the batteries. However, mine has been running on the same set of batteries for about 2.5 years now. Suppose I should change those. :)

The "more likely to be used against you" stat is a crock.

UD.
 

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1) Get an isteki gunsafe. Fingerprint handgun access safe. $250. Good investment. Thats the compromise that got my old lady to go along with it.

2) There are 700,000 doctors in the united states according to HHS. There were 120,000 accidental deaths in the course of medical procedures last year, also according to HHS. That makes .14 deaths per doctor. There are over 70 million gun owners in the united states according to BATF. There were 1500 accidental shootings by registered gun owners in the united states last year. That makes .00002 deaths per gun owner.

It is statistically 80 times safer on a gross 1 to 1 comparison to be around guns than doctors given the same national population for the statistic and gun owners themselves are statistically 7000 times safer than doctors.

3) Proper education starting at a young age (6 to 8) about guns and proper storage, maintenance, and knowledge about your guns is your best safeguard against problems with the young'ins.
 

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From my experience it is best to teach your children about guns at a very early age. They should have a chance to see them and touch them with your supervision to make sure are their curiousities are apeased. The last thing you want to do is make the gun forbidden to see or touch or else their curiousity will drive them to find out on their own. They need to know that touching it with you not around is not okay and that if they if see a gun the first thing they do is alert you.

Also, to calm your wife, you might offer to not keep any ammo in the house. If your main goal is just to have the pistol for target shooting, then just buy enough ammo for each trip. If there's no ammo in the house, the gun is a whole lot less dangerous.
 

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MasonXD40 said:
From my experience it is best to teach your children about guns at a very early age. They should have a chance to see them and touch them with your supervision to make sure are their curiousities are apeased. The last thing you want to do is make the gun forbidden to see or touch or else their curiousity will drive them to find out on their own. They need to know that touching it with you not around is not okay and that if they if see a gun the first thing they do is alert you.

Also, to calm your wife, you might offer to not keep any ammo in the house. If your main goal is just to have the pistol for target shooting, then just buy enough ammo for each trip. If there's no ammo in the house, the gun is a whole lot less dangerous.
For home target shooting, maybe get snapcaps. Get the aluminum ones for durability and then make sure that you can recognize them against any real ammo that you might have.
 

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I have had the same conversations with my wife and parents. I also keep my XD secured in a floor safe. I have never hidden the gun from my kids and took great pains to explain how it works and the danger it can pose if not handled the right way.

As my kids got older the problem became their friends that would come over. Like my Dad taught me when I was a kid, "The people that can get you into trouble the fastest are your friends."

Good luck on your decision.
 

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Your wife sounds like my Ex. She was (ok, still is) a big believer in the "if there's a gun in the house it will be used against us" lie. So, I never had a gun in my house, even though I wanted one. Even after the shootout in front of my house (neighbor was really bad news, many drug dealers visiting him, long story), she was against it. Oh, well. I should have adopted bigun's philosophy with her. :twisted: I've also noticed that many women (my mom and grandmother included) have this thought that handguns are evil (never mind that my grandmother wanted me to take my grandfather's shotgun and keep it at my apartment now - go figure). I can't explain it: long guns are "ok" but handguns are "bad." :shock: Whatever.

Anyway, if the handgun is for target practice only, then why couldn't that live in the gun case, too? I'm guessing you don't keep the other guns loaded either? If it's only for the range, the "no ammo in the house" should help to put her mind at ease.

As far as kids go, I have 3 little ones (5, 4, 2.5 yrs old) every other weekend at my apartment. They don't know I have a gun (neither does their mommy). I figure out of sight, out of mind. They have asked questions about guns, thanks to a big tank that sits by the road at the VFW almost next door. I've told them how dangerous guns can be, and that if they ever find one, to never touch it, because it could hurt someone really bad (too early to discuss the whole death thing). They often ask about guns, even what they sound like. So, one day I satisfied their curiosity by taking them to the local range and letting them watch (and listen to) the clay shooters a bit (was their mommy mad at me - LOL! - she freaked that someone might have shot them. Yeah, with us in the car, behind the shooters - ugh!). Anyway, I agree with the show them, let them touch only w/ your supervision, but I won't let mine do that until they're (hopefully) much older! They're too young for that right now. I wasn't raised around guns. Other members would probably have better tips on this issue.

As far as the XD, yes, it's a great beginner's gun. My XD-9 subbie was my first gun. I love it!

You'll probably never change your wife's mind. You probably won't win an argument, especially is she's getting her info from the anti-gun sources. My idea: If you can, get a babysitter (a year from now or so, when your newborn is older), take your wife to the range, and let her shoot your handgun. She might enjoy it, and feel better about having a handgun living in the house, too. My fiancee and I go shooting together (we used to share my XD, but now she has her own). Then we go out to eat afterwards. It's a "tradition" now, like a special date.

My 2¢
 

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My wife said she'd divorce me if i got a gun...I got one anyway (were still married)...just buy and get it over with...if u want..tell her you'll buy a handgun safe so no one can use it against u in a home invasion / robery.

good luck
 

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Did you know that if you have a gun in your house that you are (use what ever made up number makes you feel good)% more likely to be a victim of a homicide then if you didn't. What ( insert anti gun group) doesn't tell you is that the number they pulled out of some dark smelly hole, dosen't just mean just in your house, with your gun or anyone eleses gun, they include every where you go. You could be run over by a beer truck, have an airplane fall from the sky and crush you, caught in the crossfire in a drive by shooting 5,000 miles from your gun back home, or be pushed out a window. They don't care how you died, but if you are a gun owner the gun must be the reason. The Brady morons that make up these numbers, seem to think that just because you owne a gun and die, it was because you owned a gun.

These are the same dim-wits that seem to think that we should include the 20 year old drug dealer that gets himself shot to death in a shoot out with police on the list of "kids killed with guns each year" as the 9 year old that is shot by his 10 year old best friend that is playing with a gun he found.

If people like your wife could get the real facts they may not have a problem with a gun in the house, and I think someone posted a link to get the real facts.

Well that brings us to the of my rant.

Thanks for your time.
 

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The number I remember from somewhere is that women that have a firearm are 1/3 as likely to be raped. That may be body language as much as anything but it is significant.

That crap about it being used against you is just that: crap! The bias of those citing that statistic is that they want total disarmament. They do not encourage training and practice to avoid it being used against you, they encourage that if you are not armed then the world will be a beautiful place. They prey on emotions of soft cuddly kittens and not on how to protect your family. My (ex-)wife needed to have our daughter before she understood that I would kill to protect if needed. Once she gave birth she vocalized that she could kill to protect our daughter. For many women it is not a rational decision but a hormonal decision. She may need to get knocked up to understand.

I know that the above is inflammatory, but feel free to quote me. At least it may open the channels of communication.

edited to add: It pisses me off that many mothers would let their children die if they thought it would save their own life. Why would they desire to be a victim?
 

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The "43 times more likely to shoot a loved one than an intruder" statistic came from a flawed study by Seattle doctor, Arthur Kellerman. There are so many holes that could be poked into this theory it isn't even worth considering. Yet you see the same crap spewed out from the anti gunners so often you would think it is a fact.

The facts are that there are over 2,000,000 defensive gun usages per year in the U.S. This came from a real study, by a real professor (John Lott, University of Chicago) who used real data to come up with these numbers. The odd thing was he was out to prove the opposite, but the more he looked at the data the more he became convinced that guns DO play a significant role in saving peoples lives.

You will never convince a woman with logic that there is a good reason to own a gun. You will instead have to base your argument on emotions, as this is the thing women understand the most. Men think logically, women think emotionally. It's been that way since the dawn of time. I especailly love the " How else will I (or you) protect our children?" argument. This really pulls at the heartstrings because most women have a strong maternal instinct to protect their children. Not that us men don't have that emotion (we're the ones who want the gun to protect our loved ones), it's just that we use logic to come to that conclusion.
 

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Just take her shooting. I would bet she would like it and then you just buy the thing. My wife didn't like handguns either until i took her shooting. Now she has her own gun and understands how important it is for self protection in our own home.
 

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Kinda the same thing happened to me. When I was thinking about buying a handgun, I ran it by my wife and after some rationalizing, she ructantly said "do whatever you want." I was naive enough to go out and purchase a Walther P99. When I brought it home, she flipped! It had happened, there was a gun in the house and she'd be raised around the "guns are bad" philosophy.

Well, needless to say I was in the doghouse for a while. BUT, after time, the gun was in our home, it hadn't woke us up in the middle of the night to harm us in any way, she said something about wanting to go to the range. Took her to the range, she LOVED IT! She was a better shot than I was my first time at the range. Nearly three years later, we have a Walther P22 for plinking and teaching that she's claimed as her own. She's since become more serious about self defense, and we've purchased a XD-9 subcompact for her to use (me too at the range). She'll be applying for her carry permit soon. I think she's now surpassed me as the best shot in the house.

She has a nack for it. The first time she shot my friend's 1911, she put the 5 rounds he gave her in a 1.75" circle at 30 feet (10 yards). She's a natural. This brings me to my next point, taking her to the range to break the ice is a GREAT idea, BUT be prepared to be amazed, and later shown-up as the better shot in the relationship!

-stunks
 

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bigun said:
Its better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. :twisted:
amen brother
 

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I also was in the same situation. I have 3 little girls (ages 5,3 & 2) with a few hunting rifles and shot guns in the house. She wasn't big on any of them. I went out and got a CCW permit and to protect the family. Then purchased my first hand gun (HK Sub .45) and put in a small safe (gun Vault) which I also purchased at the same time assuring the kids would have no exposure.

I learned with my existing guns was that as long as she didn't see them it wasn't a big deal. She sorta forgot. As time went on I slowly exposed my hand gun here and there as I carried. As we all know the key is safety first especially with the kids. Last month I purchased the XD 9 Sub. The wife didn't say one word. :D
 
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