My brother in-law really, really wants to get himself an XD45 Sub-Compact. The brick wall he keeps running into is his wife. She will not let him get one. She says that he does not need one and there daughter (9 years old) will get ahold of it. What can I tell her to convice her that bad things happen to good people and you should be prepared for anything. Personally I think she is terrified of a gun in the house. Do you guys think taking her to the range and having her squeeze a few rounds off will change her mind? Have any of you had this problem with your wives?
Convincing my sister in-law
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I would not recommend a new shooter to "Squeeze a few rounds" of .45 for their first time. This is bound to strengthen her views as she too may become scared of the weapon. A .22 or maybe, maybe, a 9mm to start with, but not a .45. I think one, your BIL should come up with a plan as to how the weapon will be stored and explain this to his wife. He also needs to explain this can be a learning experience for everyone. What happens if his daughter sees a gun at a friends house? Taking her to the range can be a good idea, but don't force the issue if she doesn't want to go.
No I would have her shoot my wife's Bersa 380. That would be very easy for her to handle!
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I have to agree with 'WIRED'. It's the education about guns.
If it were a boy in the house, most men would teach the respect and honor of having a shotgun, rifle or handgun anyway. The same should be taught to a girl.
Most likely the mother has not been around guns or for that matter any conflict of consequence. She could benefit from the education also. Start with a 22 or 9mm and show her the general respect and pricipals of the gun community.
If it were a boy in the house, most men would teach the respect and honor of having a shotgun, rifle or handgun anyway. The same should be taught to a girl.
Most likely the mother has not been around guns or for that matter any conflict of consequence. She could benefit from the education also. Start with a 22 or 9mm and show her the general respect and pricipals of the gun community.
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definitely have her shoot some i think it would help ease the fear of it, which is one most likely the main reason she is against it. a lot of the smaller gun safes have alarms so that if the kid tries to tamper with it everyone will know. they also come with base plates for mounting which i think is a good idea with a small safe.
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I would suggest getting her into a NRA Home Firearm Safety Class. That will help demystify the whole "big scary gun in the house" issue a lot of people have. If she shows an interest in shooting herself, a First Steps class would be great.
Having someone else teach her these things removes a lot of the emotion from the equation and can help lead to a more satisfying end result.
Fortunately, my wife is also an instructor so I don't have this problem at home. :-D
Having someone else teach her these things removes a lot of the emotion from the equation and can help lead to a more satisfying end result.
Fortunately, my wife is also an instructor so I don't have this problem at home. :-D
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Had this come up some years ago when some rough looking characters started using our street for a shortcut. I decided to keep my P90 loaded in the nightstand. My wife's first objection was that our 9 year old grandaughter sometimes spends the night and she was afraid she would get hold of it.
Here's what I did: I got my wife and GD together and asked the little girl what she would do if she saw a gun. Her reply was she would tell an adult (They do teach some things in school). I then handed her the P90 (after double checking that the magazine and chamber were empty) and told her that just this once it was okay to pull the slide back. She couldn't do it of course and she is somewhat big for her age. I then gave it to my wife and told her to rack it. She couldn't even pull it back.
After that my wife figured that the girl wouldn't touch the gun and even if she did she couldn't chamber a round.
Here's what I did: I got my wife and GD together and asked the little girl what she would do if she saw a gun. Her reply was she would tell an adult (They do teach some things in school). I then handed her the P90 (after double checking that the magazine and chamber were empty) and told her that just this once it was okay to pull the slide back. She couldn't do it of course and she is somewhat big for her age. I then gave it to my wife and told her to rack it. She couldn't even pull it back.
After that my wife figured that the girl wouldn't touch the gun and even if she did she couldn't chamber a round.
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Show her a simplex lock safe that can be opened in the dark using a simple 4 key sequence even in the dark. I think her fear for their daughter is legitimate, if you can convince her that their daughter or other kids visiting cannot get access, you will have gone a long way to educating her about gun safety and her concerns. The NRA course is also an excellent idea.
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take her to a NRA class first so she can see the real truth not the crap you see on the news
then show her a good gun safe sum thing small for one hand gun
then take her to the range and have her try a small caliber like a .22 or 380 or 9mm
hope this help you out
then show her a good gun safe sum thing small for one hand gun
then take her to the range and have her try a small caliber like a .22 or 380 or 9mm
hope this help you out
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30,891 Posts
A couple posters mentioned the NRA classes. IMO this is an outstanding recommendation.
My wife was extremely uncomfortable with the thought of weapons in the house. After talking things over and asking her to be open-minded, I enrolled the three of us (myself, wife and teenage daughter) in the NRA Beginners Handgun class, offered at a local range.
It just so happened that the instructor was an attractive 30-something mother of two (just back from maternity leave after the birth of her second child). Having a female instructor put both my wife and daughter at ease... the fact the instructor was a mom also helped. It showed my wife that "normal" people own and shoot handguns. (Wife came from a family that never had any weapons in the house.)
One huge advantage using a certified NRA instructor - human nature being what it is - spouses and your kids will listen better to the instructor than to the spouse/dad, no matter how skilled a weapons instructor you may be. The NRA instructor speaks with "authority" and, any criticism they offer seems better received. No hurt feelings... the instructor is completely impartial. Plus, the instructors have dealt with fearful/reluctant students before and know how to get people who fear firearms to get comfortable. The NRA emphasis on safety and proper procedure/etiquette also helps put folks at ease.
Long story short:
- Wife is comfortable with weapons in the house, and has shot revolvers, semi-autos and rifles, from .22 through .357mag.
- Teen daughter is my shooting partner, and handles her weapons admirably. She is a good shot and handles even my Model 29 .44 mag as if no big deal. Her primary is a Walther P99 .40S&W.
- We take several weapons with us when vacationing (we tend toward camping/outdoor vacations), and check out the local sportsmens' clubs and ranges where ever we go, and spend at least a day or two recreational shooting as a family.
My wife was extremely uncomfortable with the thought of weapons in the house. After talking things over and asking her to be open-minded, I enrolled the three of us (myself, wife and teenage daughter) in the NRA Beginners Handgun class, offered at a local range.
It just so happened that the instructor was an attractive 30-something mother of two (just back from maternity leave after the birth of her second child). Having a female instructor put both my wife and daughter at ease... the fact the instructor was a mom also helped. It showed my wife that "normal" people own and shoot handguns. (Wife came from a family that never had any weapons in the house.)
One huge advantage using a certified NRA instructor - human nature being what it is - spouses and your kids will listen better to the instructor than to the spouse/dad, no matter how skilled a weapons instructor you may be. The NRA instructor speaks with "authority" and, any criticism they offer seems better received. No hurt feelings... the instructor is completely impartial. Plus, the instructors have dealt with fearful/reluctant students before and know how to get people who fear firearms to get comfortable. The NRA emphasis on safety and proper procedure/etiquette also helps put folks at ease.
Long story short:
- Wife is comfortable with weapons in the house, and has shot revolvers, semi-autos and rifles, from .22 through .357mag.
- Teen daughter is my shooting partner, and handles her weapons admirably. She is a good shot and handles even my Model 29 .44 mag as if no big deal. Her primary is a Walther P99 .40S&W.
- We take several weapons with us when vacationing (we tend toward camping/outdoor vacations), and check out the local sportsmens' clubs and ranges where ever we go, and spend at least a day or two recreational shooting as a family.
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My wife was brainwashed as a child to believe that motorcycles and guns are dangerous. Well guess what my two favorite hobbies are. 
And what's funny is I just got into both in the last two years.
Overcoming the 'guns in the house' thing was not difficult for me. My guns are kept locked up at all times, with the handguns locked in their cases, locked in a cabinet. When I got my first gun we sat the kids down and went over the rules.
Then, not long after I started shooting, I bought a .22 rifle to teach our kids (and my wife) how to shoot - and how to treat a gun with respect. IMO, the fact that they shoot keeps them from getting 'curious' about the guns and keeps them safer.
If the SIL can be educated and even entertained (Shooting is fun, and fun for the whole family!) those barriers might come down pretty quick.
And what's funny is I just got into both in the last two years.Overcoming the 'guns in the house' thing was not difficult for me. My guns are kept locked up at all times, with the handguns locked in their cases, locked in a cabinet. When I got my first gun we sat the kids down and went over the rules.
Then, not long after I started shooting, I bought a .22 rifle to teach our kids (and my wife) how to shoot - and how to treat a gun with respect. IMO, the fact that they shoot keeps them from getting 'curious' about the guns and keeps them safer.
If the SIL can be educated and even entertained (Shooting is fun, and fun for the whole family!) those barriers might come down pretty quick.
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