Pope Joke.

Discussion in 'XDTalk Chatter Box' started by XD-Generate, Feb 25, 2011.

  1. Feb 25, 2011 #1
    XD-Generate

    XD-Generate XDTalk 3K Member

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    The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a huge crowd.

    The Pope leans towards Mr. Obama and says, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"

    Obama replied, "I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of your hand....Show me!"

    So the Pope backhanded him and knocked him off the stage!

    AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY!

    Thought you guys might like that.
     
  2. Feb 25, 2011 #2
    blind_hunter

    blind_hunter XDTalk 100 Member

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    Nice. Forwarding to my joke list now...
     
  3. Feb 25, 2011 #3
    jmichna

    jmichna XDTalk 30K Member Founding Member

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    The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless Liberal, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" hat, and a "Bush Lied, People Died" T-shirt, was screaming while struggling frantically and thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly.

    As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Conservative oil field workers came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Liberal from the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three oil field workers finished off the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured Liberal in the back seat.

    As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between Conservative oil field workers and Liberal Environmental activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

    As the Pope drove off, one of the oilmen asked his buddies "Who was that guy?"

    "It was the Pope," another replied. "He's in direct contact with heaven and has access to all wisdom."

    "Well," the oilman said, "he may have access to all wisdom but he sure don't know jack$hit about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to go back to Illinois and get another one?"
     
  4. Feb 25, 2011 #4
    chameleon

    chameleon XDTalk 4K Member

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    I kind of thought the pope was going to give O' the finger.
     
  5. Feb 25, 2011 #5
    Creature

    Creature XDTalk 100 Member

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    Both good ones!
     
  6. Feb 26, 2011 #6
    w0ady

    w0ady XDTalk 1K Member

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    haha liked them both.
     
  7. Feb 26, 2011 #7
    Brawndo

    Brawndo XDTalk 100 Member

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    Father Ian and Father Paul took a fishing trip. Father Paul got a huge bite and fought the fish into the boat. Father Paul had never seen this type of fish and asked Father Ian if he had, to which Ian replied, "yeah, that a 'sunovabich', very rare." The two priests, happy with their catch headed back to the parish. Neither of them knew how to clean a fish, so sister Catherine helped them. When they realized how many filets they got from their catch, they invited the pope over. When he accepted, sister Kate got busy cooking the meal. The pope arrived and enjoyed the meal, afterwards, he asked a out the fish. Father Ian explained, "well, Father Ian caught the sunovabich, sister catherine cleaned the sunovabich, and sister Kate cooked the sonovabich.". The pope paused, "you mother fockers are alright!"
     
  8. Feb 26, 2011 #8
    slugger6

    slugger6 XDTalk 100K Member Founding Member

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    All three..good ones! :lol:
     
  9. Feb 26, 2011 #9
    community

    community XDTalk 5K Member Founding Member

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    lol lol lol
     
  10. Feb 26, 2011 #10
    jmichna

    jmichna XDTalk 30K Member Founding Member

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    Each Friday night after work, Ole would fire up his outdoor grill on the shore of Big Stone Lake and cook a venison steak. But, all of Ole's neighbors were Catholic and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks wafted over Ortonville all the way to Clinton, and was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

    The Priest came to visit Ole, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After, several classes and much study, Ole attended Mass. As the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Lutheran, and raised a Lutheran, but now you are a Catholic."

    Ole's neighbors were relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Ole's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

    There stood Ole, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted:

    "You vuz born a deer, you vuz raised a deer, but now you is a walleye pike." ;)
     

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