Ooops, I just freaked the girlfriend out with my gun.

Discussion in 'CCW and Open Carry Talk' started by NightWind, Jan 2, 2009.

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  1. NightWind

    NightWind XDTalk 100 Member Founding Member

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    Uh oh, think I commited a major relationship felony this morning. I was researching OC and CCW as i've never considered the laws and regulations up until I got my first handgun. Now i'm get excited at the prospect of gun rights and laws and excerising my freedom as an armed US citizen. After a couple hours of research I thought to myself:

    "Hmm, OC and CCW is BIG responsiblity to handle one I will have to slowly become accustomed too and understand my rights AND responsibilites of such a freedom"


    My father had several revolvers when I was growing up and I learned to greatly respect and fear firearms at all times and learn proper usage and handling. I've only personally owned a .22lr rifle up until now, so i've never had the chance to even "holser" a gun. I decided to give it a try and see what it felt like just in my own home the "feeling" and "responsiblity" of carrying a firearm.

    So I slipped my unloaded XD(m) 9mm in my stock holster and buckled my pants up and stood up with my first firearm attached to me. First thought was: "Man, this this is heavy, and its not even loaded!"

    Second thought was "Man, this is a tremendous feeling of power and liberty yet ALOT of responsiblity to be doing this, and im just in my own home, let alone outside in city"

    I moved into the bedroom where my girlfriend was starting to wake up and I smiled and held her hand softly and then she noticed my gun at my hip and said

    "Uh, WTF are you doing?"

    "What? I'm just carrying it seeing how it feels and stuff"

    "Umm yeah, im awake now and completely F'en freaked out"


    She goes to take a shower while I ponder what I did wrong, then goes to eat downstairs and comes back a little calmer. "We need to talk" she says. Uh oh.....

    We had our open minded discussion and feeling "talk" with eachother. My girlfriend is a very open minded individual that grew up with a father that had lots of guns and knew how to use them, so she was comfortable and excited for me on getting a gun for fun and SD/HD uses. But apparently, I crossed the "comfort zone" line when I started to holser my weapon inside the house. Here opinion/viewpoint was something like this:

    "Normal people, do not carry guns around their house. They also dont spend hours at a time online watching people shoot their guns off, even if your just "learning" from watching them You can only learn by actually going to the range and shooting yourself and get training. Carrying a gun in our home is way beyond my comfort zone, let alone even taking out to excersise your "patriotic freedom" as a US citizen"


    Basically, I was caught AGAIN, going full bore into a new hobby so fast with little regard of my G/F's feelings on the matter. I have a real tendancy with past experiences to back it up in regards to getting interested into a hobby, dropping everything else I do, spending exubriant amounts of money only a few months later to say to myself "Eh, im burnt out now. This is to much work and or money. I wish I didn't sell "blank" now for this. I"m done"

    I've done this with cars, R/C cars, gaming, PC's, game consoles and it usually ends up my girlfriend freaking out in her manner of stating " Would you slow the F---- down?"

    Me being the new gun person I am, I was shocked and dissapointed in myself for being careless yet I also feel i'm being somewhat "controlled" by my girlfriend, which of course is another subject entirely.

    I need to ask fellow gun owners, how do you and your significant other/family feel about your gun hobby? What does he/she about if you have a large collection of guns? Some of you have insane amounts of firepower in your home and you have the right to do so, but is it really "normal" or "healthy" to be doing this or is my girlfriend just wacking out?
    Some of you REALLY take this gun ownership to the extreme.

    For example in some of my threads about general gun ownership questions, I've had posts like "Become one of us in the NRA, we are nation of strong and our libertys are being taken away! Fight the good fight!" or "Carry your own at all times, if you are not an armed citizen, you will be a dead citizen!" For irony, even I was thinking: "Whooo dudes, back down, Im not sighing up for a lifelong NRA member and getting SWAT training to defend myself or home, lets go easy, I just bought my first gun and I just had some questions. I didn't want to join the 2nd revolution or anything"

    Thoughts, feelings, comments, suggestions, critisicm needed/wanted.
     
  2. Se2002

    Se2002 XDTalk 3K Member Founding Member

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    Yah, wait until you have a home invasion in your neighborhood like we did.

    I understand where she is coming from but the bad guys won't.

    Good Luck getting that resolved.
     
  3. ladromar

    ladromar XDTalk 500 Member

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    lengthy post there fellow XDtalker:mrgreen:...

    I just would want to say/suggest the following:



    Step 1.- Take your girlfriend to the shooting range; teach her proper safety and handling, let her shoot your gun.

    Step 2.- then go out for the evening and grab a bite while you two discuss your little trip to the range.

    Step 3.- explain to her it is not only a hobby of yours and a god given right if you will, to self preservation; and firearms in general do a mighty good job for home and personal defense.

    From there I would say don't take a SWAT class or a carbine course with your $2000 AR.

    Instead go out there and get a CHL (concealed handgun license) while in the process of getting your CHL chances are (depending on your state) they will give you a very good course regarding firearm safety and laws as well as regulations pertaining to conceal carry permits and other stuff.

    My two cents...

    Which by the way; with the inflation and the economy the way it is you may only end up getting about a cent and a half.
     
  4. Wired

    Wired XDTalk 5K Member Founding Member

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    Try to educate her. My wife had questions too as to why I needed to carry around the house. Since I CC it's mostly out of sight, out of mind. This might be hard, but try to show her local reports of people being attacked in their own homes. I hear about it a lot (seems to be a new fad lately) and show my wife. She's cool with it now.
     
  5. devildog12210

    devildog12210 XDTalk 1K Member Founding Member

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    Well I must say I really applaud your researching the subjectr and educating yourself. My g/f , whom I live with, wasn't all on board when I first started carrying. She would get upset because I had to take "my stupid gun". Needless to say a few incidents occured and she felt safer knowing I had it. Now I end up taking her to the range more than we go out to eat. She is constantly wanting to get new and different guns. She is very recoil shy but other than that anything goes. Make going to the range a "date" and go often. She will come around. Best of luck to you my friend.
     
  6. XD9MMUser

    XD9MMUser XDTalk 100 Member

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    eh, my gf has no problem with my guns. she actually wants one now that got my xd9, but i told her she'd have to buy it. my immediate family thinks its okay to own guns. hell, if i buy one my dad quickly offers to give me my money back for it just becuase he likes it. the only person that is iffy about it is my stepdad. when i told him i had got the 9 he was like wth do you need that for? i just thought to myself, why the heck do you need the safe full that you have. anyway, im gonna freely excersize my 2M rights no matter what anyone says.
     
  7. bashman

    bashman XDTalk 1K Member

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    Yes.


    No such thing. Sounds like something an anti-gunner would say.
     
  8. Joeywhat

    Joeywhat XDTalk 5K Member

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    If you had a bazooka strapped across your chest then I see her point...

    Unless I'm just in my boxers, my gun is usually on me or next to me. Anyone has a problem with it, they know where my door is.
     
  9. Destructo

    Destructo XDTalk 100 Member

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    I carry my XD45 or my Kel-tec P11 around the house quite frequently holstered, even outside in my yard.

    My wife doesn't mind one bit and has her own 1911 but doesn't carry it.

    I don't see anything wrong at all with carrying a holstered gun around your own house, its no different than strapping an MP3 player to ya and walking around, its just a device thats all. It doesn't do anything unless you pull it out and use it.
     
  10. bama

    bama XDTalk 100 Member

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    Long answer: You need to get comfortable with the concept of freedom and personal responsibility. You are responsible for your own safety, which includes all sorts of things, including carrying a pistol. If your GF can't go along with that, ditch her.

    Short answer: Grow a pair.

    :)
     
  11. matlt

    matlt XDTalk 2K Member Founding Member

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    People's hesitance around guns are always 100% unreasonable. Of course my opinion is biased, but guns aren't just for practicing, having fun with or collecting. You're talking about the very objects that keep us free from an oppressive government and free from criminals. It may sound extreme, but it is by all means true. Hang around here enough and you'll see at least half of us don't just love guns, but we deeply love what they represent. Approximately 1.5 million people are the victims of violent crimes every year. Less than 1%, but odds I still don't enjoy. You know what the difference is between those 1.5 million and the people on this forum, including you and me? Not a thing. It's good that your girlfriend is somewhat level headed about her reaction, but you should try to educate her about the dangers of society. Some people are happy enough depending on luck for their security. I, and many others on these forums, don't feel that lucky. So we tip the odds in our favor.
     
  12. MD-Lucky

    MD-Lucky XDTalk 100 Member Founding Member

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    Healthy and normal?

    Absolutely yes.

    I hope everyone goes "easy" on you with these questions, because they are legitimate and a real concern. However, what you are going to find is that there is a "gun culture." Some people take it to the extreme, some people only own a single firearm.. Doesn't really matter. You CHOSE to use a right that is protected in our country. A right that many countries do not have. Don't ever be ashamed or uneasy to use it.

    Further, you are going to find that "normal, everyday people" carry firearms every day. Sitting here at work, I'm carrying concealed, and not a single on of my employees or the people walking through the door know. I've carried every single day for 3 years, and no one has noticed.

    When I leave work, I will carry all the way home. I will carry in the grocery store. I will carry to the movie theater. And then back home.

    I don't live in a compound, I work a fairly "normal" job, and I live a "normal" life. The only difference between me and the next guy is that I CHOOSE to carry.

    If you do decide to carry concealed, you will learn to "make" others that carry. Not at first, but it will happen eventually.. And you will be surprised and shocked at how many people DO carry. Normal, everyday people.

    As far as the girlfriend.. Well, you're going to need to introduce things to her slowly. It won't happen over night, and she may never become entirely comfortable with it.. But, just ask her to understand that you are exercising certain rights.. and you would NEVER ask her to give up rights she uses every day, and she needs to understand that she cannot ask the same of you.
     
  13. Pete V

    Pete V XDTalk 500 Member

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    Things could have been worse you could have been married :p



    Pete V
     
  14. Paul

    Paul XDTalk 1K Member

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    The wife was looking for the cell phone and saw the pistol in the center console. Is it loaded? Yes, and I open the glove box to point out more ammo. I don't even think about it much anymore. She was a little freaked. We talked about the couple of times I had wished I was armed.

    I have tried to get her to the range with no luck. Maybe someday?

    I almost told that when we bought the new car I was CC. I thought better of it.
     
  15. Zetsumei

    Zetsumei XDTalk 500 Member Founding Member

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    Well, I never claimed to be "normal"

    Nevada CCW License holder.

    My XD .45 Compact is loaded and in its holster, on my hip and has been since I woke up this morning. I left the house for about an hour and a half.

    Already spent a good 2 hours on this and a few other "gun" websites, and do about every day.

    Watching as my children and wife are raped and/or murdered and/or worse is
    way beyond my comfort zone.

    That is why I exercise my patriotic freedom to bear arms, just about every minute of every day.
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2009
  16. Destructo

    Destructo XDTalk 100 Member

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    You can carry to the movie theatre? We can't carry into anywhere that charges admission in NC.
     
  17. matlt

    matlt XDTalk 2K Member Founding Member

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    Concealed is just that, concealed.
     
  18. rickett

    rickett XDTalk 2K Member Founding Member

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    Common dilemma. My wife is currently comfortable with my "obsessive hobbies" (I can totally relate on that one;),) and with me carrying in and out of the house. This wasn't always so. While she has never minded my owning guns and wanting more, she did at one time call me out for always thinking about/talking about/wanting to buy more guns. She has since gotten used to it, and after a few minor incidents we're on the same page. While nothing major has happened, we've had a few "red flags" and scary false alarms that have shifted her discomfort about me CCing in the house to a sense of security, knowing that we can respond quickly to any percieved threat. I'd say you should respect your GF's point of view, but encourage her to respect yours as well. This is how a good relationship works, regardless of the issues. If you can both do this, you'll be fine and your hobbies will be safe. Might even be able to share your love for guns with her and it can help grow your relationship. If she's unwilling to share this mutual respect, and insists on you coming to her side, then there are bigger issues there and maybe it's not meant to be. As for this "unhealthy obsession" that "normal folks don't do," BS!!!! We may be occasionally fanatical in our beliefs, but that doesn't make it an unhealthy obsession. There's nothing wrong with getting excited about your hobbies, or wanting to defend your rights and personal safety. Good luck and keep us posted!
     
  19. BoomerBSG

    BoomerBSG XDTalk 2K Member

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    i first strapped on my (now sold XD) to see what it felt like, and it felt good, so i started carrying around the house, just to get comfortable with it and carrying a handgun in general, in anticipation of getting my CHL.

    I purchased the handgun as i got tired of bringing the shotgun up and down stairs at night. i purchased the shotgun because of a seedy character my BiL brought home one night.

    so when i purchased my second handgun i tried to leave it downstairs, so i had one up and one down, plus the shotty upstairs..
    wife kept bringing the pistol upstairs, which pissed me off.. so i just started carrying around the house.

    the reactions from her mom and brother (who both live with us) as well as her visiting relatives (i have no relatives in texas now). was of mixed feelings of me being a nut and a whack job... until one night two people behind our house started shooting guns in the air, then later that month my neighbor got shot, then a rash of break ins in the area.. etc, etc..

    when the neighbor got shot the entire family lightened up, and left me alone (well not that they ever said anything directly to me, just to my wife).

    she also used to get on to me about the amount of guns i was purchasing, and how many more i had planned on buying.. i squashed that with the tried and true.. "i work hard for my money and will spend it any damn way i want to, on whatever the hell i want to, if you have a problem with that i'll leave"

    now i dont just have that attitude with guns.. no one has ever, or will ever tell me what to do in my own house, or with my own money, period.
    i dont tell her she has too many purses (she is the imelda marcos of purses).

    "Oh my eyebrows ain't plucked there's a gun in my truck. Oh thank god, I'm still a guy."

    cheers
     
  20. NewXDsupporter

    NewXDsupporter XDTalk 100 Member

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    My EX GF had a problem with me carrying every min of the day. Hell she came close to outing me in the mall one day. When she gave me a hug and hit it with her hand then proceeded to say loudly "I just hit you (explative) gun". She had issues with me owning an AR and basically took issue with anything gun related I owned. Hence the EX title on her now. :D

    Take it easy and work her slowly into the fact of you carrying. That is if you would like to keep her around. ;) good luck
     
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