Chinese sex While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here in the US , we know very little about it. The man looks a little perplexed and says, Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc. The doctor answers, I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis. The man screams in horror, Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!! The doctor replies, Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only option. The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease. The guy says to the doctor, Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my penis! The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. Stupid American docttah, always want opawate. Make more money dat way. No need amputate! Oh, thank God! the man exclaims. Yes, says the Chinese doctor.Wait two week. Faw off by itself! Bass Boat A good 'ole West Virginia boy won a bass boat in a raffle drawing. He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says, "What you gonna do with that. There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat within 50 miles of here." He says, "I won it and I'm a gonna keep it." His brother came over to visit several days later. He sees the wife and asks where his brother is. She says, "He's out there in his bass boat", pointing to the field behind the house. The brother heads out behind the house and sees his brother sitting in a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand down in the middle of a big field. He yells out to him, "What are you doing?" His brother replies, "I'm fishin. What does it look like I'm a doing." His brother yells, "It's people like you that give people from West Virginia a bad name, makin everybody think we is stupid. If I could swim, I'd come out there and whip your ass!"