Assault With A Deadly Fish.... - XDTalk Forums - Your HS2000/SA-XD Information Source!

**jmichna** · 06-03-2008, 11:59 AM

When fish are banned, only the criminals will have fish....

Quote:

Assault with fish lands man in jail
June 3, 2008 12:15 am
By Keith Epps

A series of incidents involving a fish and his own private parts landed a Fredericksburg man in jail Sunday, police said.

City police spokeswoman Natatia Bledsoe said the suspect's troubles started Saturday about 8:30 a.m. at the 7-Eleven on Dixon Street.

Three people were at the gas pumps when the suspect entered the store. The witnesses said they noticed the suspect because he was singing very loudly.

A 40-year-old man was looking at the suspect when he came out of the store still being loud. This caught the attention of the suspect, who picked up a rock and hit the man in the neck.

Bledsoe said the man's 32-year-old friend then got out of the car and confronted the suspect about throwing the rock. The suspect grabbed a fish out of his car and hit the friend in the face with it.

The suspect threw a beer bottle onto the vehicle at the gas pump, which belonged to the fish victim's girlfriend. Witnesses said he dropped his pants and flashed his private parts to all three.

The suspect, who the victims said they didn't know, drove off before police arrived. But Bledsoe said police got a photo from the store's security camera and took it around the neighborhood.

Residents identified the suspect as 21-year-old Marcellus Coleman. On Sunday, police got a tip that Coleman was in an abandoned house on Myrick Street.

Police found him there and took him into custody. Bledsoe said that as Coleman was being led to the police cruiser, he spit on a resident who he apparently believed informed police of his whereabouts. The spitting led to an assault charge.

Coleman was also charged with malicious wounding, destruction of property and indecent exposure. He was placed in the Rappahannock Regional Jail under no bond.

This guy seems a bit odd, no?

**Liquid Rhino** · 06-03-2008, 12:07 PM

that guy's my hero. You don't get enough trout slappings anymore.

**jmichna** · 06-03-2008, 12:09 PM

Anyone wondering what he just happened to be doing with a FISH in his CAR? I mean, did he plan on going out and slapping someone with a fish that night?

hacker15 · 06-03-2008, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmichna

Anyone wondering what he just happened to be doing with a FISH in his CAR? I mean, did he plan on going out and slapping someone with a fish that night?

If so, there was 'premeditation' involved - a much more serious offense (not that the clown wasn't offensive enough!).....

Wonder what the penalty for 'premeditated fish slapping' is? Not a very common crime (at least outside of Finland).....

Now, waving his 'privates' at people could fall under the heading of 'comedy relief', depending on the size/condition/cleanliness of said 'privates'......

tenring · 06-03-2008, 04:38 PM

Goll Dang Fish slapping, genital waving, sons of silly persons gonna be the ruination of this great country.

jtkratzer · 06-03-2008, 08:31 PM

Was anyone else picturing a scene from Monty Python while reading this?

Thod24 · 06-03-2008, 09:04 PM

We have a recorded image of the actual event.

I wonder if the victims had an urge to go to Captain D's after the incident.

arizona98tj · 06-03-2008, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thod24

We have a recorded image of the actual event.

That would be the classic "double rainbow".

PDguy · 06-03-2008, 10:59 PM

Funniest thing I ever saw with a fish...

Howard Stern had this girl on his show. She wanted to break into the singing business. She was a looker too. He made her strip to a bra and thong and bend over a chair. Then, she was beat in the butt with a dead fish the entire time she sang. By the end of the song, I think one of the fish eyes were stuck to this girl's butt.

Funniest stuff I ever saw...and it was a great example of human nature and what someone in a desperate situation will do.

06-03-2008, 12:07 PM	#2
Liquid Rhino XDTalk 1K Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: three\|zero\|five Posts: 1,037	that guy's my hero. You don't get enough trout slappings anymore. __________________ WARNING! There ain't no more continues, dog...

06-03-2008, 12:09 PM	#3
jmichna XDTalk 2K Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: NE Illinois Posts: 2,561	Anyone wondering what he just happened to be doing with a FISH in his CAR? I mean, did he plan on going out and slapping someone with a fish that night? __________________ "Enlightened statesmen will not always be at the helm." - James Madison, Federalist No. 10 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ "The inherent vice of Capitalism is the unequal distribution of blessings, the inherent vice of Socialism is the equal distribution of misery." - Sir Winston Churchill

06-03-2008, 04:38 PM	#5
tenring XDTalk 500 Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: MI Posts: 979	Goll Dang Fish slapping, genital waving, sons of silly persons gonna be the ruination of this great country. __________________ "The Sound of freedom is a .45 empty bouncing off the ground" ~ Rob Leatham

06-03-2008, 08:31 PM	#6
jtkratzer XDTalk 15K Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Lancaster Co., PA Posts: 17,560	Was anyone else picturing a scene from Monty Python while reading this? __________________ "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." - Thomas Jefferson The Gun Lounge Pennyslvania Firearms Owners Association Hockey Forum

06-03-2008, 09:04 PM	#7
Thod24 XDTalk 500 Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Jacksonville, FL Posts: 559	We have a recorded image of the actual event. I wonder if the victims had an urge to go to Captain D's after the incident. __________________ XD 45 Tactical Taurus PT145 Stainless Mossberg 500 Winchester M70 XTR Sporter 270 My father's old JC Higgins 22 Red Rider BB (don't laugh...it'll put your eye out ) There is no problem that cannot be solved by the use of high explosives. - Bumper Sticker

06-03-2008, 10:59 PM	#9
PDguy XDTalk Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 92	Funniest thing I ever saw with a fish... Howard Stern had this girl on his show. She wanted to break into the singing business. She was a looker too. He made her strip to a bra and thong and bend over a chair. Then, she was beat in the butt with a dead fish the entire time she sang. By the end of the song, I think one of the fish eyes were stuck to this girl's butt. Funniest stuff I ever saw...and it was a great example of human nature and what someone in a desperate situation will do.

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