Girlfriend is moving in tommorow... god help me.

[rufusdog]

You keep saying you love her to death, I'm kind of doubting that with the way you seem to feel about her moving in with you..seems your trying to tell eveyone how much you love here while acting like your afraid to live with her.

[jtkratzer]

Originally Posted by Rusty Shackelford

My wife and I have been together for 23 years. We moved into together because she needed a place to live - and ended up living together for 6 years before we finally tied the knot.

Lots of people have given lots of advice, but all I will say it is it will only work if both of you want it to work. Make the decision early on to grow together, not apart. Find similar hobbies and interests and do them together.

It doesn't matter whether you live together or not, 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. Decide now which 50 percent you want to be in.

This is good advice. My wife and I shoot together (guns and bows), we hike together, we work out together, we watch hockey together, we're together a lot. She's my best friend. We have things we like to do that the other doesn't (she knits, I chat with you guys while she does that).

I've heard to make a marriage work, it's not a 50/50 thing...it's 100/100...both have to give 100% to make it work.

Said simply, it works if you work at it. A marriage that you want to last is something worth fighting for and there will be times you have to fight outside influences to keep it together. I've had more girls hit on me since my wife and I exchanged vows and rings. It takes self control and discipline to keep things under control. There will be times that showing your wedding ring won't be enough to ward them off.

Originally Posted by yocan

This is from the perspective of a pastors son, so I have seen dozens of people get divorced and married and such frequently. So I have an idea of what does and doesn't work, dad talks about it all the time.

I would say you should be married, this will make it harder. Religion aside however you and she both need to do this.

Make not a list but the list of ten things you have to have in a wife and ten things you cannot have in one. If she qualifies, your good to go. I'd say get engaged now, and marry her (assuming your still on really good terms) in September or earlier.

About it getting harder, its a hassle, women are trouble, here is the question, is she worth it? If she is you have to fight through and from today, the day you plan on asking her to marry you, the sideshows have to stop, flat stop you can't even start the flirting again, if you do, your marriage won't survive 18 months from when you start (or you'll be cheating and feel miserable within 18 months) The flirting will lead to more, so stop it today, if you can't you shouldn't be looking at getting married because she isn't worth it to you.

This is good advice...10 items may not be enough. I've heard of a list as long as 50. Stick to that list.

[jtkratzer]

Originally Posted by rufusdog

You keep saying you love her to death, I'm kind of doubting that with the way you seem to feel about her moving in with you..seems your trying to tell eveyone how much you love here while acting like your afraid to live with her.

Moving in together and considering marriage is a big step and it doesn't surprise me that someone still in college has some hesitation about it. It's the talk about wanting to run and play with other girls that makes me wonder about the commitment level. Is this girl the one you love to death as a good friend or one that love on an intimate level that when she's hurting, it hurts you? Did it hurt you to break up with her the first time? Are you helping her out of guilt, friendship, or love?

[texas_rebel_1980]

Originally Posted by DanTheEldest

And, my friend, the "evil thoughts" never stop, even for the most committed of us. That's where you step up and stay with your lady no matter how fine the T&A walking past happens to be.

Just my .02, humbly offered.

ain't that the truth? like my dad said to me before i got married...its ok to read the menu, as long as you eat at home....or his other line when just scoping out a good looking lady, i'm married i ain't dead!!!

[Popa75]

I lived with my wife for 6 years before we got married, We have now been married for 8 years and are happy as can be. I think the thing that helped us was the fact that after 2 years of dating we broke up for 2 years and dated other people while still living together, I dont recomend this to everyone as it is very emotionaly draining but is was fun to date all of her friends. Now we joke about how crazy it was, how fun and how if we could still be in love after that we can work thorough anything.