Shipwrecked.... - XDTalk Forums - Your HS2000/SA-XD Information Source!

**jmichna** · 05-19-2008, 09:53 AM

A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.

One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.

But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Hillary Clinton.

That evening, the man brought Hillary to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get 'those feelings' again..

He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Hillary and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Hillary batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

He said, 'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'

Slaytex · 05-19-2008, 10:13 AM

Nice!

tomfoolery · 05-19-2008, 10:15 AM

HAHAHAH....nice

hacker15 · 05-19-2008, 04:07 PM

Had to copy/paste it to all my Dem friends.....

**yocan** · 05-19-2008, 04:25 PM

printed

hacker15 · 05-19-2008, 04:29 PM

A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. Months pass, ever so slowly, as he yearns for rescue.

One day, he's sitting on the beach, looking for the ship that will rescue him from his lonely existence. He notices a strange line of bubbles in the water, headed towards him. He watches in amazement as a scuba diver emerges from the waves.

The diver takes off his face mask and pulls back the hood of his wetsuit, revealing long blond hair. Only then does the man realize that the diver is a woman - and a truly beautiful woman at that!

The woman approaches him and asks how he got to the island. He tells her of the shipwreck and how he's been stuck on the island for several months. She asks if there's anything she can do for him.

"Well, I really would like a martini!", he says. She reaches down inside her suit, pulls out a shaker, a bottle of gin, and a small bottle of vermouth, along with a jar of olives (each with it's own toothpick!). She proceeds to make him the best martini he's ever tasted!

"Anything else?, she asks.

"Well, it's been months since I had a cigar", he replies. Again, she reaches into her suit and pulls out a Cuban cigar and lighter, along with the end snipper for the cigar. She clips off the end, hands him the cigar and lights it for him. He sits back on the beach, savoring the smoke from this excellent cigar.

She looks at him with puzzlement in her eyes. "Don't you want to play around?", she asks.

He responds with, "Good Lord, woman! Don't tell me you have a set of golf clubs in there!?!"

jtkratzer · 05-19-2008, 04:33 PM

Gross...I threw up a bit in my mouth just wondering where that was going to go.

devildog12210 · 05-19-2008, 04:34 PM

That had me laughing so hard everyone in my office now thinks I'm crazy!

05-19-2008, 09:53 AM	#1
jmichna XDTalk 2K Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: NE Illinois Posts: 2,560	Shipwrecked.... A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Hillary Clinton. That evening, the man brought Hillary to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get 'those feelings' again.. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Hillary and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Hillary batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him. He said, 'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?' __________________ "Enlightened statesmen will not always be at the helm." - James Madison, Federalist No. 10 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ "The inherent vice of Capitalism is the unequal distribution of blessings, the inherent vice of Socialism is the equal distribution of misery." - Sir Winston Churchill

05-19-2008, 10:13 AM	#2
Slaytex XDTalk 100 Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Charlotte Posts: 199	Nice! __________________ XD-40 Tactical AR-15 w/ too much to list Mossberg 500 USA Edition

05-19-2008, 10:15 AM	#3
tomfoolery XDTalk 5K Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Cincinnati Posts: 5,302	HAHAHAH....nice __________________ "It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees." "One is none, two is one, and three is just a good time." Clint Smith, referring to the number of guns you carry daily.

05-19-2008, 04:07 PM	#4
hacker15 XDTalk 3K Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Upstate, NY Posts: 3,621	Had to copy/paste it to all my Dem friends..... __________________ If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain

05-19-2008, 04:25 PM	#5
yocan XDTalk 2K Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Detroit Posts: 2,281	printed __________________ The three requirements for a school shooting. 1 know the floorplan. 2 Know the threats inside the location and response time/entry time for the police 3. Royally screwed up intelligent analytic mind. We need more laws to protect these three rights. Ban guns in schools, it obviously works.

05-19-2008, 04:29 PM	#6
hacker15 XDTalk 3K Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Upstate, NY Posts: 3,621	A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. Months pass, ever so slowly, as he yearns for rescue. One day, he's sitting on the beach, looking for the ship that will rescue him from his lonely existence. He notices a strange line of bubbles in the water, headed towards him. He watches in amazement as a scuba diver emerges from the waves. The diver takes off his face mask and pulls back the hood of his wetsuit, revealing long blond hair. Only then does the man realize that the diver is a woman - and a truly beautiful woman at that! The woman approaches him and asks how he got to the island. He tells her of the shipwreck and how he's been stuck on the island for several months. She asks if there's anything she can do for him. "Well, I really would like a martini!", he says. She reaches down inside her suit, pulls out a shaker, a bottle of gin, and a small bottle of vermouth, along with a jar of olives (each with it's own toothpick!). She proceeds to make him the best martini he's ever tasted! "Anything else?, she asks. "Well, it's been months since I had a cigar", he replies. Again, she reaches into her suit and pulls out a Cuban cigar and lighter, along with the end snipper for the cigar. She clips off the end, hands him the cigar and lights it for him. He sits back on the beach, savoring the smoke from this excellent cigar. She looks at him with puzzlement in her eyes. "Don't you want to play around?", she asks. He responds with, "Good Lord, woman! Don't tell me you have a set of golf clubs in there!?!" __________________ If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain

05-19-2008, 04:33 PM	#7
jtkratzer XDTalk 15K Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Lancaster Co., PA Posts: 17,560	Gross...I threw up a bit in my mouth just wondering where that was going to go. __________________ "I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." - Thomas Jefferson The Gun Lounge Pennyslvania Firearms Owners Association Hockey Forum

05-19-2008, 04:34 PM	#8
devildog12210 XDTalk 500 Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Drummonds Posts: 772	That had me laughing so hard everyone in my office now thinks I'm crazy!

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