am i weird for this?

[tomfoolery]

I dont think its healthy to not relax....just face it, bad stuff doesnt always have to happen. I think if you continue on with this un-relaxed, stressed lifestyle youl have a heart attack by the time your 40....

[JakeUSA]

Originally Posted by chad_quixote

well, today ( through no fault of my own ) right after lunch, i hit a patch of compliactedness drama which blindisded me.

im talking right down to the one thing that can rattle me emotionally....and yeah im pi**ed that it happened but a greater part of me is releived that it finally happened, and impressed with the method that was employed......

oh well, just 2 more months before im in OCS and then hopefully Iraqistan...

I think this patch of "complicatedness" is what we're all missing here. What exactly happened?

And just as an aside, Iraq and Afghanistan are not places one should ever hope to go. I've been there and I'm going back in about three weeks. Even when nothing happens on a patrol your nerves are still frayed because you've been expecting things to go south the whole time you're outside of the wire. You do your duty, but stateside is where I'd rather be.

[TacoMalo]

Sounds like you're not used to things being cool for a while, I jump everytime my phone rings because I work in Field Service so a pager or a cell phone is like a double edged sword it's nice to have a free cell phone but it sucks because when it rings you're expected to be somewhere asap. I've learned that when it's going easy you TAKE it easy otherwise you'll always be worrying for no reason.

[krazykozmetics]

I am lost in this one, still dont know what happened. and besides i dont understand in general because im the type of person that doesnt stress even when i should lol

[chad_quixote]

hmm reread the orig post and i guess you were right,
like i said i had about 4-5 days of things going easy...well you already know this the next sentence is gonna start, well this girl and i...

well this girl and i were talking to each other, pretty steady contact, then i left for the weekend to go turkey hunting and a couple of other things as to where i'll be out of pocket.

well like i said, things were going great between us and then today i dropped a text her a text this morning to let her know that i had a pretty ok trip and that i was back in town safe.
i did the text because i was at work and dont really like talking to anyone on a personal level in a cube far,... well like i said-- we were doing good ( turns out my opinion was not shared ), and she replies

who is this?
etc etc, for a couple of messages, she's actually trying to figure out who i am..
well at first i though it was a joke, but then i just said to myself, you konw-- thats a pretty bs game.

yeah, reading that little but it sounds kind minor and pissy of me; but three or 4 texts where she honestly asks who i am, and she even leaves a voicemail asking who i am. well you can tell in her voice that its not a joke.... and then i just hit back -- sorry wrong number. and then proceeded to realize that i'm not allowed to relax..because when i do, something bad happens-- you should ask my friends, they get nervous when im not being uptight.

and i know that Iraq or Afghanistan are both shi**ole places,
i know that theres a good chance that i probably wont make it back, but im ok with that. somedays that thought of this is the only thing that helps me tough it out at my job, knowing im one day closer. and no, im not a medal seeking hero, i just want to do my job, be the best damned officer i can be and bring my boys home in one piece or die trying. because, if it gets them home without an LT, its a worth while trade off.

[JakeUSA]

Originally Posted by chad_quixote

and i know that Iraq or Afghanistan are both shi**ole places,
i know that theres a good chance that i probably wont make it back, but im ok with that. somedays that thought of this is the only thing that helps me tough it out at my job, knowing im one day closer. and no, im not a medal seeking hero, i just want to do my job, be the best damned officer i can be and bring my boys home in one piece or die trying. because, if it gets them home without an LT, its a worth while trade off.

Very noble and all that, but as a wise man once said (General Patton) "The point of war is not to die for your country. It's to make the other son of a bitch die for his."

Still the same, I am grateful that you are anxious to serve our country and look forward to being brothers in arms. And, just for the record, the chances of making it back are far greater than not, as are the chances of making it back in one piece greater than leaving a part of you there. Before you go, even before you receive your commission, I would recommend discovering what it is in your life that is worth making it back for, because anything that is worth dying for is worth even more if you're living for it. The last thing the military needs is another officer who is just in it to be in it and only works hard for bullets on his OER. We do, however, need every man that will work hard along side his soldiers so that they know he recognizes their hard work.

[chupacabrachus]

Originally Posted by JakeUSA

i probably wont make it back

You should be saying, "I AM going to come back in one piece, and so is everyone else with me."

It's good your not disillusioned about the true danger of going to war and possibility of dying. I wake up everyday knowing that it might be the last time, but I don't go into work each morning with the attitude that I probably won't come home from my shift.

[chad_quixote]

i do have somthing worth while coming back for.

i'm not one who's gonna be out looking for a scrap, just to get a strip of cloth.
I mean i'm a Son of the South, scraps tend to happen around us.

I know that theres a darned fine chance that not a thing is gonna happen to me, i've more or less mentally and emotionally accepted the fact that I maynot come back, or i may leave something over there. I know that this ain't gonna be like GI Joe


The quicker that you accept these facts, the more functional you will be, and if i never engage hostiles then i'll be perfectly happy to that fact..

***edit***

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.

F. Scott Fitzgerald, "The Crack-Up" (1936)
US novelist (1896 - 1940

The great test laid out, is the need of basic survival and purposely putting yourself into harm's way. I just hope i dont crack-up and fail my men.