Basic Redneck Stuff - XDTalk Forums - Your HS2000/SA-XD Information Source!

hacker15 · 04-08-2008, 04:59 PM

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader

8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

XDConvert9mm · 04-08-2008, 05:05 PM

I gotta tell ya Hacker, I'm keeping even and pulling ahead of the others on my "Friends" list with jokes just by forwarding your stuff. Thanks man!

**magnumize** · 04-08-2008, 05:12 PM

Oh man #8 LOL,back in the early 90's they had some BIG HAIR LOL!!!

Thod24 · 04-08-2008, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hacker15

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

That right there's funny. I don't care who you are.

**rufusdog** · 04-08-2008, 08:36 PM

That was a funny list for sure..

**Dave Starr** · 04-09-2008, 07:41 AM

10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

You mean it's not ?????

daveofspades · 04-09-2008, 07:55 AM

"Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this.""

That seems to be a suburban thing, thanks to Steve-O and the guys, and a general lack of parental involvement.

DD

Ride the Lightning · 04-09-2008, 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hacker15

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."

This statement brings the validity of the other statements into question. No self respecting redneck would ever say "Hey, guys, watch this". The proper redneck term is "Hey, y'all, watch this" unless the audience is greater than 4 in which case it would be "Hey, you'ins, watch this". To be even more accurate, it would be "Hold my beer and y'all watch this". Simple mistakes like these have given up the identity of many undercover yankees posing as rednecks.

cougar_guy04 · 04-09-2008, 08:40 AM

Sounds like Hacker has been spying on my hometown.

justgotback · 04-09-2008, 08:56 AM

Funny stuff!

04-08-2008, 04:59 PM	#1
hacker15 XDTalk 3K Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Upstate, NY Posts: 3,600	Basic Redneck Stuff 1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it. 3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. 4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night. 5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean. 6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this." 7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader 8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. 9. Your junior prom offered day care. 10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines." 11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels. 12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. 13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. 14. One of your kids was born on a pool table. 15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. 16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it. 17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. __________________ If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain

04-08-2008, 05:05 PM	#2
XDConvert9mm XDTalk 5K Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: NW Atlanta Suburbs Posts: 5,484	I gotta tell ya Hacker, I'm keeping even and pulling ahead of the others on my "Friends" list with jokes just by forwarding your stuff. Thanks man! __________________ "There's no way to rule innocent men. The only power government has is the power to crack down on criminals. When there aren't enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws."

04-09-2008, 07:55 AM	#7
daveofspades XDTalk 500 Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Cincinnati Posts: 514	"Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."" That seems to be a suburban thing, thanks to Steve-O and the guys, and a general lack of parental involvement. DD __________________ "The military is for fighting the enemies of the state. The police are there to defend and protect the people. When the military becomes the police, the enemies of the state become the people." - Commander Adama, The New Battlestar Galactica

04-09-2008, 08:40 AM	#9
cougar_guy04 XDTalk 1K Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Turn East at Orlando Posts: 1,817	Sounds like Hacker has been spying on my hometown. __________________ "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity"

04-09-2008, 08:56 AM	#10
justgotback XDTalk 10K Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Virginia Posts: 11,705	Funny stuff! __________________ Just say NO to Obama! “Just because you have an individual right, does not mean that the state or local government cannot constrain the exercise of that right.” Barack Obama on the 2nd amendment A prudent man foresees the difficulties ahead and prepares for them; The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences. Proverbs 22:3

04-08-2008, 05:12 PM	#3
magnumize XDTalk 2K Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: ky Posts: 2,510	Oh man #8 LOL,back in the early 90's they had some BIG HAIR LOL!!!

04-08-2008, 08:36 PM	#5
rufusdog XDTalk 500 Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 995	That was a funny list for sure..

04-09-2008, 07:41 AM	#6
Dave Starr XDTalk 500 Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Flint, Michigan Posts: 557	10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines." You mean it's not ?????

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