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Old 03-19-2008, 04:26 PM   #1
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Is it possible to be friends with a girl.......
that you have feelings for?????

I need help guys.....

long story short:

girl at work ive known for three years...fell for her from the word "hello"..she was having boyfriend problems during this time...I absolutely fell in love with her, head-over-heels...she would not budge for me and kept me in the "friend" area

she finally "made up" or whatever with her boyfriend about four months ago.....

i have tried and tried to just be her "friend" but just cannot do it...I feel resentful and kind of angry when i try to be her friend, and i get pissed off when she is actually being nice to me.....havent spoke to her in about a month...i just cut off all contact with her, wont even look in her direction at work.......i hate being like this

have any of you guys been through this???? is it even possible to be a "friend" to someone you have feelings for????? im finding it impossible.......

experienced guys,,,,,please chime in
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Old 03-19-2008, 04:28 PM   #2
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Old 03-19-2008, 04:33 PM   #3
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When she was having boyfriend problems, did you try to become more than friends or was she just not interested in anyone else and she just wanted to work out her problems?

If you are "in love" with someone the #1 thing you are to that person is a friend. My wife is my wife but shes also my best friend.
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Old 03-19-2008, 04:35 PM   #4
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Nope. Once you have been relegated to the "friend zone" there is no comming back. Sorry.
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Old 03-19-2008, 04:36 PM   #5
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You could be "friends with benefits!"

Joking aside, it seems that for women it is very hard to start anything romantically with guys that are friends, at least that is what I have observed from my many experiences being the friend and wanting more. Once you are a friend, you will almost always remain a friend.
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Old 03-19-2008, 05:10 PM   #6
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No. You will always want to hit it.
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Old 03-19-2008, 05:12 PM   #7
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Nope. Once you have been relegated to the "friend zone" there is no comming back. Sorry.
definitely not true. let me interject a little hopeful experience into this thread...

I was stuck in the "friend zone" with a girl for almost 4 years. We were basically best friends, did everything together, went everywhere together. she had a boyfriend at the time, who didn't really care for me...but yeah...it was a completely platonic relationship. Being best friends with her was like living every day in the dark, with a light at the end of the tunnel, and knowing that i could never reach the end...It was total cliche, but i was the guy who was there to pick her up when she fell down, and after being burned by a dickhead boyfriend, she realized that she had the perfect guy in front of her all along...

We've been together for 7 years now....

best advice is never ever ever ever ever give up...if somethings worth fighting for its worth waiting for too...
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Old 03-19-2008, 05:14 PM   #8
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i have tried and tried to just be her "friend" but just cannot do it...I feel resentful and kind of angry when i try to be her friend, and i get pissed off when she is actually being nice to me.....havent spoke to her in about a month...i just cut off all contact with her, wont even look in her direction at work.......i hate being like this
The only way I would handle it is straight up. Tell her how you feel. BUT I can't be just friends. She may change but if she doesn't you haven't lost your dignity and you don't come across as an ass.
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Old 03-19-2008, 05:14 PM   #9
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Usually, you wont be friends until your feelings for her are gone.....


(if i posted this thread, it'd be FLAME FLAME FLAME)
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Old 03-19-2008, 05:14 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by beitzel15 View Post
Usually, you wont be friends until your feelings for her are gone.....


(if i posted this thread, it'd be FLAME FLAME FLAME)
You're a repeat offender.


I'm not sure what you're feeling is love...perhaps only obsession or infatuation. If you don't really have a relationship other than being co-workers, I can't really call that love. There's a difference between being physically attracted to someone, however strong, and having an emotional attraction.

Good luck.
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