Is Ron Paul the Zombie Lord? (PV) - XDTalk Forums - Your HS2000/SA-XD Information Source!

Smoke_Works · 01-10-2008, 05:09 PM

Hijacked from Glocktalk;

Excitement is in the air for the 2008 presidential election. What a lineup of candidates: Hillary has experience, Obama promises change, McCain is unwavering and Ron Paul is a zombie. Yes, a brain-eating, undead, Thriller-music-video kind of zombie. How did a zombie get into politics? It’s a rather fascinating story.

The first thing to know about zombies is that their top priority is eating brains. Not just any kind of brains — they have rather delicate palates. The second thing to know, is that they can think, plan and generally look like humans.
It’s not exactly certain when Ron Paul turned into a zombie. However, his zombie-like tendencies became most apparent during his training in medical school. Ron’s most promising medical career was — you guessed it — brain surgery. Never before had a medical student shown such devotion and skill in handling the brain. But Ron knew it would be suspicious and off-putting if he was always found munching on the remnants of his surgeries. He knew the FDA would also disapprove of his unique, albeit unsanitary, method of physically biting out brain tumors from afflicted patients.
These brains, however, were unappetizing to Ron Paul. The most important factor in determining the taste of a brain is the proper care of the fetus, from inception to pregnancy to birth. So Ron Paul instead decided to become an OB/GYN, helping to deliver thousands of healthy babies into this world. And when these children matured into adults, they would then have exquisitely tasty brains for consumption. Ron Paul took the premium brain category to a whole new level — the Kobe beef of brains, if you will.

But Ron wanted to influence the taste and supply of brains on a wider scale, a national scale. Thus his entry into politics, as a U.S. Congressman. The most powerful influence over a tasty brain, however, lies in the presidency of the United States.
And so he here stands, in full zombie glory, as a candidate in the 2008 presidential race.
Ron’s proposed policies scream brain-centered zombie politics. “Gun control? Control this!” says Ron, flourishing a crude gesture. “More guns, more deaths, more brains!” is his slogan of choice. Ron is pro-life all the way: why take so many potentially succulent brains out of the supply chain? In fact, Ron is so pro-life and pro-gun, he figured out a way to combine the two, in a twisted, zombie way. Remember those sex education classes back in high school where you were sometimes handed a condom? Well, Ron envisions a world where sex education teaches kids how to have more sex, guns replace condoms, and the ensuing mayhem of accidental births and un-accidental homicides would result in a whole lotta of fresh brain.
Don’t forget that zombies have refined tastes. It’s not only about the quantity, but the quality of the brains. And its bona-fide, American citizen brain that set the standard of quality for Ron Paul. This informs his policy on immigrants: he doesn’t want any. The taste of their brains simply doesn’t make the cut. Education is also a no-no, since making people smarter introduces more folds in their brains, ruining the silky-smooth texture that zombies so longingly desire.
As voters, it’s important to stay informed, and that means knowing which one of your presidential candidates is a zombie. Now I’m not trying to influence your vote — if you want a zombie in office, more power to you. At least you can elect someone who appreciates you not for your looks, but what’s on the inside — your brain, that is.

Tard · 01-10-2008, 05:11 PM

Could you fix the highlighting, it's really hard to read.

**Cannibul** · 01-10-2008, 05:13 PM

Another sh!tty cut and paste job.

Can't you morons learn to use the Preview Post button?

**AZXD** · 01-10-2008, 05:17 PM

An amusing story.
I'm surprised someone at Glocktalk could be so creative.

**Ed Ely** · 01-10-2008, 05:18 PM

to include (PV) in the title.

Just a reminder to all whom start
a politically motivated thread that
(PV) is to be included in the title.

Also merged threads with same titles.

Ed

**Cannibul** · 01-10-2008, 05:19 PM

And another duplicate crappy cut and paste post.

I wish the mods would grow a set and just delete these.

Smoke_Works · 01-10-2008, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cannibul

Another sh!tty cut and paste job.

Can't you morons learn to use the Preview Post button?

Sorry it double posted before I could edit it, up yours just the same.

Tard · 01-10-2008, 05:26 PM

It's going very well tonight, yes?

**AZXD** · 01-10-2008, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tard

It's going very well tonight, yes?

Cut & Paste can be technically challenging

**eric_t12** · 01-10-2008, 05:31 PM

wow, morons is a little tough i think...

as far as the article goes -

01-10-2008, 05:09 PM	#1
Smoke_Works XDTalk 100 Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Hayden Lake, Idaho Posts: 499	Is Ron Paul the Zombie Lord (PV) Hijacked from Glocktalk; Excitement is in the air for the 2008 presidential election. What a lineup of candidates: Hillary has experience, Obama promises change, McCain is unwavering and Ron Paul is a zombie. Yes, a brain-eating, undead, Thriller-music-video kind of zombie. How did a zombie get into politics? It’s a rather fascinating story. The first thing to know about zombies is that their top priority is eating brains. Not just any kind of brains — they have rather delicate palates. The second thing to know, is that they can think, plan and generally look like humans. It’s not exactly certain when Ron Paul turned into a zombie. However, his zombie-like tendencies became most apparent during his training in medical school. Ron’s most promising medical career was — you guessed it — brain surgery. Never before had a medical student shown such devotion and skill in handling the brain. But Ron knew it would be suspicious and off-putting if he was always found munching on the remnants of his surgeries. He knew the FDA would also disapprove of his unique, albeit unsanitary, method of physically biting out brain tumors from afflicted patients. These brains, however, were unappetizing to Ron Paul. The most important factor in determining the taste of a brain is the proper care of the fetus, from inception to pregnancy to birth. So Ron Paul instead decided to become an OB/GYN, helping to deliver thousands of healthy babies into this world. And when these children matured into adults, they would then have exquisitely tasty brains for consumption. Ron Paul took the premium brain category to a whole new level — the Kobe beef of brains, if you will. But Ron wanted to influence the taste and supply of brains on a wider scale, a national scale. Thus his entry into politics, as a U.S. Congressman. The most powerful influence over a tasty brain, however, lies in the presidency of the United States. And so he here stands, in full zombie glory, as a candidate in the 2008 presidential race. Ron’s proposed policies scream brain-centered zombie politics. “Gun control? Control this!” says Ron, flourishing a crude gesture. “More guns, more deaths, more brains!” is his slogan of choice. Ron is pro-life all the way: why take so many potentially succulent brains out of the supply chain? In fact, Ron is so pro-life and pro-gun, he figured out a way to combine the two, in a twisted, zombie way. Remember those sex education classes back in high school where you were sometimes handed a condom? Well, Ron envisions a world where sex education teaches kids how to have more sex, guns replace condoms, and the ensuing mayhem of accidental births and un-accidental homicides would result in a whole lotta of fresh brain. Don’t forget that zombies have refined tastes. It’s not only about the quantity, but the quality of the brains. And its bona-fide, American citizen brain that set the standard of quality for Ron Paul. This informs his policy on immigrants: he doesn’t want any. The taste of their brains simply doesn’t make the cut. Education is also a no-no, since making people smarter introduces more folds in their brains, ruining the silky-smooth texture that zombies so longingly desire. As voters, it’s important to stay informed, and that means knowing which one of your presidential candidates is a zombie. Now I’m not trying to influence your vote — if you want a zombie in office, more power to you. At least you can elect someone who appreciates you not for your looks, but what’s on the inside — your brain, that is. Last edited by Smoke_Works; 01-10-2008 at 05:33 PM. Reason: editing

01-10-2008, 05:11 PM	#2
Tard XDTalk 3K Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Machias, WA Posts: 3,020	Could you fix the highlighting, it's really hard to read. __________________ The good times have been used up.

01-10-2008, 05:17 PM	#4
AZXD XDTalk 10K Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Valley of the GUN Posts: 14,632	An amusing story. I'm surprised someone at Glocktalk could be so creative. __________________ SCOTUS judge appointments ... Will last much longer than Obama or McCain. Who do you want selecting people who have the ability to support or remove individual rights ?? AZXD At least I don't need any Viagra just to get myself to a point where I can do the Palin librarian fantasy Veep thing. KEVWYO There are a bunch of you that need to hit the head and grab your jar of vaseline and just get it over with. KEVWYO

01-10-2008, 05:18 PM	#5
Ed Ely XDTalk 5K Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: 37.65N -84.76W (Elev. 932 ft) Posts: 7,658 Blog Entries: 1	Edited... to include (PV) in the title. Just a reminder to all whom start a politically motivated thread that (PV) is to be included in the title. Also merged threads with same titles. Ed

01-10-2008, 05:26 PM	#8
Tard XDTalk 3K Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Machias, WA Posts: 3,020	It's going very well tonight, yes? __________________ The good times have been used up.

01-10-2008, 05:31 PM	#10
eric_t12 XDTalk 3K Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: SD Posts: 3,662	wow, morons is a little tough i think... as far as the article goes - __________________ FBI: Gun Owners are Potential Terrorists Our Economic Future: GAO 21st Century Challenges The Police Have No Duty To Protect You VFW Life Member GOA Life Member "There are lots of problems, but if you destroy the dollar, you're going to destroy a worldwide economy, and that's what we're doing." Ron Paul - Speech on the house floor 29SEP2008 opposing the reworked economic 'rescue' plan

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