Ultimate Weight Loss Program! It WORKS!!!This is a discussion on Ultimate Weight Loss Program! It WORKS!!! within the XDTalk Chatter Box forums, part of the XD Talk category; A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there ...
 |
|
04-13-2007, 08:25 AM
|
#1
|
|
XDTalk 3K Member
Member #: 12124
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,669
|
Ultimate Weight Loss Program! It WORKS!!!
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19-year-old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day, 20 lb. program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me, you can have me."
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while before he can continue, so for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.
Much to his delight on the fifth day he weighs himself only to discover that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day, 50 lb. program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door, and when he opens it he finds
Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads,
"If I catch you, you're mine!"
__________________
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain
|
|
|
|
04-13-2007, 08:44 AM
|
#2
|
|
XDTalk 25K Member
Member #: 12162
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Maud, Oklahoma
Posts: 29,483
|
another good one from Hacker
__________________
The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
-
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 post(s).
|
|
|
|
|
04-13-2007, 02:16 PM
|
#3
|
|
XDTalk 10K Member
Member #: 11567
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Arizona's White Mountains
Posts: 11,810
|
__________________
The AK-47: Designed to be easily field stripped, reassembled, and used effectively by half-drunk, half-frozen, illiterate conscripts. Upon finding one buried in Mother Russia's mud after last year's Regimental exercises: retrieve from ground, pee into receiver, cycle bolt, and get back to work.
Arizona gun owners--join the AZCDL!
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 post(s).
"I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." --Jesus, John 14:6 (ESV)
|
|
|
|
|
04-13-2007, 02:31 PM
|
#4
|
|
XDTalk 100 Member
Member #: 15523
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SLC, UT
Posts: 369
|
This thread is useless without pictures!
hehe
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 post(s).
|
|
|
|
|
04-13-2007, 02:35 PM
|
#5
|
|
XDTalk 5K Member
Member #: 15115
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Mineral Wells, Tx
Posts: 5,331
|
Local man shoots a naked Richard Simmons today in his front yard. Police are calling it a justifiable homicide. 
__________________
Stuff
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 post(s).
USPSA-A59201
|
|
|
|
|
04-13-2007, 02:50 PM
|
#6
|
|
XDTalk 1K Member
Member #: 14586
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,120
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Trovan
This thread is useless without pictures!
hehe
|
...of Richard Simmons? No thanks! 
|
|
|
|
|
04-13-2007, 02:57 PM
|
#7
|
|
XDTalk 100 Member
Member #: 15523
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SLC, UT
Posts: 369
|
not even this one?
David Letterman blowing up Richard Simmons' food steamer.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 post(s).
|
|
|
|
|
04-13-2007, 04:35 PM
|
#8
|
|
XDTalk 100 Member
Member #: 13169
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Carencro, LA
Posts: 470
|
I heard the same joke a while back, but it was a big, buff "Bubba" fresh out of prison that shows up for the final weight loss program.
|
|
|
|
|
04-13-2007, 04:43 PM
|
#9
|
|
XDTalk 2K Member
Member #: 13790
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Looking for Galt's Gulch
Posts: 2,021
|
Either would be motivation to run far and run fast.
__________________
"Won't work, can't be done"
|
|
|
|
|
04-13-2007, 04:44 PM
|
#10
|
|
XDTalk 500 Member
Member #: 13431
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 695
|
Yeah that was good stuff.
__________________
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 5 or greater. You currently have 0 post(s).
|
|
|
|
Lower Navigation
|
|
|
| Search tags for this page |
|
weight loss
|
| Thread Tools |
|
|
| Display Modes |
 Linear Mode
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
XDTalk Forums - Your XD/XD(m) Information Source!
»
Ultimate Weight Loss Program! It WORKS!!!
