ATM Procedures for male and female customers

[wmrawls]

Bank of America, in another one of its brillient Marketing moves, decided to try and figure out why the ATM machines in Charlotte NC were not able to handle the volumn of traffic in certain areas as opposed to others. For instance around shoping Malls it required 15 ATMs to service the requiremnts of their customer base but around the Bass Pro Shop side of the malls it required only 1. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed and notices mailed to all Bank of America Customers, 7.6 million printed in Spanish and 2.5 millon in English or what passes for it now adays.

Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.

MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

**********************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

[hellagerms]

[rob45cal]

very nice

[malkore]

Don't tell her I said this, but my wife has issues getting close enough to the drive thru ATM's.

but she doesn't do the rest of that crap. i'm not sure she knows what the emergency brake does either....

[scotton]

27 got me laughing

[EVIL1]

All true,,, 27 is the best though.

[newKid]

brilliant, if i could only count the times ive sat waiting at my ATM for over 5 minutes waiting for some woman to finish. i swear, one woman sat there for five minutes and didnt even roll down her window before i honked and yelled out the window.