Twas the night before Christmas... - XDTalk Forums - Your HS2000/SA-XD Information Source!

KHAN · 12-24-2006, 10:54 AM

Found this on another forum and got a chuckle out of it. Enjoy and have a Merry Christmas y'all!

Twas the night before Christmas, cold, dark and foreboding,
As I sat at the workbench, quite busy reloading,
The empties from autumn were polished so clear,
For primers and powder, and bullets from Speer.
And Sierra boat-tails, and Nosler's Partitions
(My bench ain't no place for brand name omissions!)
All sat in their boxes, right next to the press,
With dies from Midway, and RCBS.

When all of a sudden there came such a jolt,
I grabbed for my Mossberg, and whipped out my Colt.
As I spilled Hodgdon's powder all over the shelf,
I scrambled for cover, just to protect myself ;
From up on the rooftop, came hoofbeats and snorting,
Like the noise out of L'il Rock, from Clinton's cavorting!
I eased off the safety, to press-check my auto
With 230-hardball, I'd knock 'em all blotto.

Were these rogue federal agents, sent by Schumer and Reno?
Or a staggering Ted Kennedy, in bad need of vino?
My question was answered with a knock, and some sneezing,
It's Santa, you moron, lemme in there, I'm freezing
I flipped off the dead-bolt and threw the door wide,
To find St. Nick a'shivering, Rudolph by his side
He eyeballed my Thompson, with a nod of approval
"You're all set," he said, "for dirtball removal."

But this is no raid, we're not here to harm you
Or persecute, prosecute, or even disarm you
Instead, said dear Santa, he needed to borrow
My .357, 'till day after tomorrow.
It's okay he assured me, with a hint of frustration.
I'm enrolled in the Gun Owners of America,
He showed me his card, 'twas a Life Member rating
I've had this since me and the misses were dating!

And you see, ol' buddy, I've gotten real nervous
Since Hillary was elected, with a promise to serve us
So henceforth as I'm out there, my presents a'stackin'
I want to assure you, we all need to be packin'
And my gift for you this year, should give you a hoot
I've told the Supreme Court to give Gun Control the boot!

Now, Rudy and I must be on our way."
He said, as he climbed back on the seat of his sleigh.
With the reins in his hand, and my Smith in his pocket
He jingled the sleigh bells and was off like a rocket.
With a pair of speedloaders, and ammo to spare
I knew he'd be safe, he was loaded for bear.

As he faded from view, I could still hear him calling,
From DC, where 'PC' is your eventual falling,
‘Cause Santa’s idea of Gun Control is front sight and press,
For in the interests of self-preservation, we aim to impress!
So for all you bad guys in Detroit, LA, and Atlanta:
Unless you feel lucky, don't be messin' with Santa!

**jonny4523** · 12-24-2006, 11:43 AM

Genius! He'll be famous one day...

**oklawall** · 12-24-2006, 02:36 PM

That is very good

kevin7 · 12-24-2006, 02:46 PM

Tis' the season for spoofs.

rev-arb · 12-25-2006, 08:39 PM

Makes me feel all warm and jolly inside.

12-24-2006, 10:54 AM	#1
KHAN XDTalk 100 Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: God's Country Posts: 105	Twas the night before Christmas... Found this on another forum and got a chuckle out of it. Enjoy and have a Merry Christmas y'all! Twas the night before Christmas, cold, dark and foreboding, As I sat at the workbench, quite busy reloading, The empties from autumn were polished so clear, For primers and powder, and bullets from Speer. And Sierra boat-tails, and Nosler's Partitions (My bench ain't no place for brand name omissions!) All sat in their boxes, right next to the press, With dies from Midway, and RCBS. When all of a sudden there came such a jolt, I grabbed for my Mossberg, and whipped out my Colt. As I spilled Hodgdon's powder all over the shelf, I scrambled for cover, just to protect myself ; From up on the rooftop, came hoofbeats and snorting, Like the noise out of L'il Rock, from Clinton's cavorting! I eased off the safety, to press-check my auto With 230-hardball, I'd knock 'em all blotto. Were these rogue federal agents, sent by Schumer and Reno? Or a staggering Ted Kennedy, in bad need of vino? My question was answered with a knock, and some sneezing, It's Santa, you moron, lemme in there, I'm freezing I flipped off the dead-bolt and threw the door wide, To find St. Nick a'shivering, Rudolph by his side He eyeballed my Thompson, with a nod of approval "You're all set," he said, "for dirtball removal." But this is no raid, we're not here to harm you Or persecute, prosecute, or even disarm you Instead, said dear Santa, he needed to borrow My .357, 'till day after tomorrow. It's okay he assured me, with a hint of frustration. I'm enrolled in the Gun Owners of America, He showed me his card, 'twas a Life Member rating I've had this since me and the misses were dating! And you see, ol' buddy, I've gotten real nervous Since Hillary was elected, with a promise to serve us So henceforth as I'm out there, my presents a'stackin' I want to assure you, we all need to be packin' And my gift for you this year, should give you a hoot I've told the Supreme Court to give Gun Control the boot! Now, Rudy and I must be on our way." He said, as he climbed back on the seat of his sleigh. With the reins in his hand, and my Smith in his pocket He jingled the sleigh bells and was off like a rocket. With a pair of speedloaders, and ammo to spare I knew he'd be safe, he was loaded for bear. As he faded from view, I could still hear him calling, From DC, where 'PC' is your eventual falling, ‘Cause Santa’s idea of Gun Control is front sight and press, For in the interests of self-preservation, we aim to impress! So for all you bad guys in Detroit, LA, and Atlanta: Unless you feel lucky, don't be messin' with Santa!

12-24-2006, 11:43 AM	#2
jonny4523 XDTalk 2K Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Lafayette, IN Posts: 2,040	Genius! He'll be famous one day... __________________ -XD40 Service (Feb 2002) Springer Precision Carry Trigger -XD9 Tactical (June 2007) Springer Competition Trigger, USPSA Production -Remington 870 Mag, 12g, my hunting companion -Thompson/Center Triumph (June 2007) -Ruger Mark II (Oct 2004) Gvt Comp Model -AR build (Sept 07 - May 08 ) Mostly RR NRA, USPSA #TY60062 -If guns kill people, then spoons made Rosie O'Donnel fat! -When seconds count, the police are only minutes away

12-25-2006, 08:39 PM	#5
rev-arb XDTalk 10K Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: West River, South Dakota Posts: 12,982 Blog Entries: 3	Makes me feel all warm and jolly inside. __________________ You got to "post" before you can "TOTP!" Rom. 12:12 "The world has yet to see what God can do with and for and through and in a man who is fully and wholly consecrated to Him." - Henry Varley to DL Moody "I felt only as a man can feel who is roaming over the prairies of the far West, well armed, and mounted on a fleet and gallant steed." - Buffalo Bill

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12-24-2006, 02:36 PM	#3
oklawall XDTalk 10K Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Maud, Oklahoma Posts: 10,166	That is very good

12-24-2006, 02:46 PM	#4
kevin7 XDTalk 500 Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 761	Tis' the season for spoofs.