a few jokes - Page 2 - XDTalk Forums - Your HS2000/SA-XD Information Source!

Louisiana Hunter · 10-25-2006, 05:51 AM

Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything
in, but you can see right through them.

Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it
takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective
reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed,
but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often
over-inflated.

A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go
anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of
course, there's the hot air part.

Sponges are Female, because they're soft,
squeezable and retain water.

A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting
hit on.

A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old
lines to pick people up.

An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the
weight shifts to the bottom.

A Hammer is Male , because it hasn't changed much
over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have
around.

A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd
be male , didn't you? But consider this - it gives a
man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he
doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he
keeps trying

Louisiana Hunter · 10-25-2006, 05:56 AM

A young blonde woman in Shreveport was so depressed that she decided to end >her life by throwing herself into the Red River.
She went to the Texas Street bridge and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the >bridge, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for." I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."
Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."
The girl nodded yes. After all, what did you have to lose?
Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning. That >night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love in the boat until dawn.
Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Horseshoe Casino and we never leave Shreveport

10-25-2006, 05:51 AM	#11
Louisiana Hunter XDTalk Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Scottsdale,AZ Posts: 87	Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed. A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated. A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part. Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water. A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on. A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom. A Hammer is Male , because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male , didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying __________________ Walk tall and carry a big F ing gun.

10-25-2006, 05:56 AM	#12
Louisiana Hunter XDTalk Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Scottsdale,AZ Posts: 87	Last One Of The Day A young blonde woman in Shreveport was so depressed that she decided to end >her life by throwing herself into the Red River. She went to the Texas Street bridge and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the >bridge, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for." I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all, what did you have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning. That >night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love in the boat until dawn. Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked. "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me." "He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Horseshoe Casino and we never leave Shreveport __________________ Walk tall and carry a big F ing gun.

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