wish me luck - Ex taking me to court today... - Page 3 - XDTalk Forums - Your HS2000/SA-XD Information Source!

nightraider · 10-05-2006, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chupacabrachus

marriage is scary.

+100, I'm glad I'm single, no expenses, no nothing.

**XDAndMe** · 10-05-2006, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dave_in_delaware

The original Order amount ($1050/mo)

Sweet Jesus, Mary & Joseph... that's a lot of money!!!!

That's about half of what I was making in a month while I was working as an intern.

Dave, best of luck buddy...

cuylar · 10-05-2006, 03:20 PM

best of luck man.

chupacabrachus · 10-05-2006, 05:08 PM

I hope you came out alright bud. I hope to hear the good news later.

cucamelsmd15 · 10-05-2006, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beardman2

+1

There is no perfect marriage. If they don't argue I'd be scared for them. The difference is the ones that are commited to each other enough and car for each other enough to work through it. And god forbid even admit to being wrong. Sometimes even if you are not.

+2. The ones who argue the least are the ones who dont speak to each other.

Mike G · 10-05-2006, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cucamelsmd15

+2. The ones who argue the least are the ones who dont speak to each other.

Wow, if arguing with my girlfriend is healthy for our relationship, then we must be doing fantastic!

**beardman2** · 10-05-2006, 07:00 PM

ok there is a limit. But if you actually resolve it then I guess you could say ...yes?

one-eyed-fatman · 10-05-2006, 08:09 PM

dave_in_delaware put some money under the table for the judge. They like that.

dave_in_delaware · 10-05-2006, 08:21 PM

Well, first off I want to thank you ALL for putting in your positive words and wishing me luck.....

But, unfortunately, it didn't go well. Not at all. I got, um, how can I put it nicely? I got F**ked in my financial a$$, yet again.

Despite the fact that my Ex has a good job and makes almost as much as I do, and that she's the one that decided to put the kids in PRIVATE school, and she chose to move out of a rent-free house (mine) and start paying for her own apartment, and that I told them the current amount is a financial hardship for me, and I had all my income and expenses written down as proof, and that I currently had a monthly deficit (and this increase will make it worse), and I haven't even figured in grocery costs, car maintenance, or any savings for emergencies.... it all didn't matter. Not even a little bit.

Delaware uses some sort of "magic formula" where they only plug in the incomes of both Father and Mother, subtract the taxes, figure out who pays for health/dental/etc insurance for the kids, and only gives $850/mo allowance for "parent's self support." $850 isn't even my freakin' mortgage!!

And do you want to know what the Family Court mediator's and the Child Support Enforcement Office representative's response was to my pleas? They sat there, emotionless, and just said:

"You could always work OT, or get a second job."

I'm like WTF??

I wanted to say "Oh, ok be-yotches. Let me tell YOU that you have to work beyond 40 hours/week to barely afford what you've been paying, add an additional $430/month to your expenses, and tell you that you basically only have to get another job and spend more time away from your family because of some archaic formula. Do you like that option? No? Well gee, I don't either." DUH!!

And then my Ex just sits there, gleaming with victory, and has the nerve to say "Don't take this personally." How the hell *should* I have taken it? Isn't it MY personal finances that are being more adversely affected? Isn't it MY time that I now have to work in the evenings and weekends instead of relaxing or doing whatever I'd like to do? Isn't it MY problem? But yeah, I won't take it personally. Wench.

Ugh. I have NO idea how I'm going to come up w/ an extra $430/month now. I'm already in the hole each month. So now I guess I'm (in the hole +430). My employer doesn't require OT, ever. OK, they offered it once in my 4 years there. Looks like I'll be doing the CAD/GIS side job for a while, assuming I can find a client or two.

God, sometimes I hate my life. Well, my financial life anyway...

[/rant] [/cry-fest] [/whining]

Thanks again for all your support. I do appreciate it. You guys/gals are like an invisible extended family.

And please don't think that I *don't* want to take care of my kids financially. I do, and I have been the whole time (with a child Support Order or not). It's just hard to hear that you HAVE to (i.e. do it or go to jail) come up w/ MORE money that you DON'T MAKE and NEVER had, and you have NO CLUE how to do it.

But, as a father, I'll do whatever it takes for my kids, because I love them.

**loonybin** · 10-05-2006, 08:34 PM

I feel for you, Dave. Is there any way you can fight to get custody? I would not be surprised if DE is a female-can-do-no-wrong-and-the-man-gets-screwed kind of state, but it's worth a shot.

10-05-2006, 03:20 PM	#23
cuylar XDTalk Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Suburbia, MN Posts: 91	best of luck man. __________________ Springfield XD9 - 16rd Mags

10-05-2006, 07:00 PM	#27
beardman2 XDTalk 4K Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 4,950	ok there is a limit. But if you actually resolve it then I guess you could say ...yes? __________________ - He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from opposition; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach himself. ~Thomas Paine I will not be involved with the dreams of angry men. Founding Documents Freedom isn't free: http://www.anysoldier.com

10-05-2006, 08:09 PM	#28
one-eyed-fatman XDTalk 10K Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 10,160	dave_in_delaware put some money under the table for the judge. They like that. __________________ corporate America's logo: If at first you don't succeed lower your standards and beg the government for bailout money. Our governments bought and sold by corporate America like pigs going to market. I'm waking up at the start of the end of the world. http://home.houston.rr.com/gunpics/images/one%20eye.wav

10-05-2006, 08:21 PM	#29
dave_in_delaware XDTalk 5K Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Wilmington, DE Posts: 6,108	It was NOT a good day.... Well, first off I want to thank you ALL for putting in your positive words and wishing me luck..... But, unfortunately, it didn't go well. Not at all. I got, um, how can I put it nicely? I got F*ked in my financial a$$, yet again. Despite the fact that my Ex has a good job and makes almost as much as I do, and that she's the one that decided to put the kids in PRIVATE school, and she chose to move out of a rent-free house (mine) and start paying for her own apartment, and that I told them the current amount is a financial hardship for me, and I had all my income and expenses written down as proof, and that I currently had a monthly deficit (and this increase will make it worse), and I haven't even figured in grocery costs, car maintenance, or any savings for emergencies.... it all didn't matter. Not even a little bit. Delaware uses some sort of "magic formula" where they only plug in the incomes of both Father and Mother, subtract the taxes, figure out who pays for health/dental/etc insurance for the kids, and only gives $850/mo allowance for "parent's self support." $850 isn't even my freakin' mortgage!! And do you want to know what the Family Court mediator's and the Child Support Enforcement Office representative's response was to my pleas? They sat there, emotionless, and just said: "You could always work OT, or get a second job." I'm like WTF?? I wanted to say "Oh, ok be-yotches. Let me tell YOU that you have to work beyond 40 hours/week to barely afford what you've been paying, add an additional $430/month to your expenses, and tell you that you basically only have to get another job and spend more time away from your family because of some archaic formula. Do you like that option? No? Well gee, I don't either." DUH!! And then my Ex just sits there, gleaming with victory, and has the nerve to say "Don't take this personally." How the hell should* I have taken it? Isn't it MY personal finances that are being more adversely affected? Isn't it MY time that I now have to work in the evenings and weekends instead of relaxing or doing whatever I'd like to do? Isn't it MY problem? But yeah, I won't take it personally. Wench. Ugh. I have NO idea how I'm going to come up w/ an extra $430/month now. I'm already in the hole each month. So now I guess I'm (in the hole +430). My employer doesn't require OT, ever. OK, they offered it once in my 4 years there. Looks like I'll be doing the CAD/GIS side job for a while, assuming I can find a client or two. God, sometimes I hate my life. Well, my financial life anyway... [/rant] [/cry-fest] [/whining] Thanks again for all your support. I do appreciate it. You guys/gals are like an invisible extended family. And please don't think that I don't want to take care of my kids financially. I do, and I have been the whole time (with a child Support Order or not). It's just hard to hear that you HAVE to (i.e. do it or go to jail) come up w/ MORE money that you DON'T MAKE and NEVER had, and you have NO CLUE how to do it. But, as a father, I'll do whatever it takes for my kids, because I love them. __________________ Dave Daily carry = XD-9 service in a Blackhawk CQC SERPA holster, a Spyderco Native, and a Streamlight Scorpion. "Everything matters... unless it's antimatter." “A person has the right to keep and bear arms for the defense of self, family, home and State, and for hunting and recreational use.” [Delaware Constitution, Article I, § 20 Right to keep and bear arms]

10-05-2006, 08:34 PM	#30
loonybin XDTalk 1K Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: central Kansas Posts: 1,518	I feel for you, Dave. Is there any way you can fight to get custody? I would not be surprised if DE is a female-can-do-no-wrong-and-the-man-gets-screwed kind of state, but it's worth a shot. __________________ Tempus fugit. Frater, memento mori. Happy is what you make it -- always has been, always will be.

10-05-2006, 05:08 PM	#24
chupacabrachus XDTalk 3K Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 3,383	I hope you came out alright bud. I hope to hear the good news later.

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