The Most Unique XD Guide Rod Giveaway

[achysklic]

What do you call 3 blondes in a walk in freezer? Frosted Flakes!

[madcap1one]

Keeping in mind that I am from Chicago, land of corrupt politics and gungrabbers, all of whom seem to be the same people...

Oh - I should clarify that I have no use for the prize, please take me out of the running for that one - but I do enjoy humor while I am supposed to be working...

Todays joke:

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.
All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the
job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700."
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the government official.

[Preacher_of_Boom]

I'm enjoying the entries. Thanks for the laughs!

If responses dry up, judgment day will come soon!

[Preacher_of_Boom]

I figured out the problem.

I must have cut out 95% of all jokes when I requested only clean jokes.

Doh!

[G~man]

OK, I don't want the prize either, but here's my favorite...

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean.
The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows every week and began to understand what the magician did in every trick.
Once he understood that, he started shouting in the middle of the show.

"Look, it's not the same hat!"
"Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!"
"Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything, it was the captain's parrot after all.

One day the ship had an accident and sank.

The magician found himself on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean, and of course the parrot was by his side.

They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word.

This went on for several days.

After a week the parrot finally said, "Okay, I give up. What'd you do with the f'ing boat?"

[Preacher_of_Boom]

Originally Posted by RBL

so he just threaded a normal rod and inserted a field point from an arrow?

His rods don't even start out normal. Rumor is that they are forged in the bowels of Pinatubo. The field point, however, came from Wal-mart.

Any more jokes, or is it over?

[Preacher_of_Boom]

Entries for the giveaway shall not be accepted after 20090320T060000Z.

Rock on.

[Wired]

Guts and Balls.

There IS a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'

I hope this clears up any confusion on the
definitions.

[Mahamoti]

If the guiderod won't fit an XDm, this one's a freebie:

Guy walks into a bar, sees his buddy crying in his beer.
"Hey man, didn't you just get married yesterday? Today should be one of the happiest of your life!"
"*sob* You don't understand, our honeymoon was last night... *sob*"
"Yeah, sounds good to me... why the tears?"
"This morning, half awake, without thinking, I left a $20 on her pillow... *sob*"
"Aw man, that's it? She'll probably think nothing of it, no big deal!"
"*sob* No, you still don't understand... *sob* Half awake, and without thinking, she gave me $5 change!"

[charlie.45]

I made this joke up when I was 8 so yes I know its retarded its the only clean joke I know.

Whats blue and sits on a toilet? An officer doing his duty!