Considering enlisting in the PA Army National Guard

[So Flo]

I don't know anything about the NG, but I think it is honorable that you would like to serve.
Keep us posted on your decision making process!

[Cannibul]

Originally Posted by jtkratzer

I don't want to do that. My wife has already indicated she doesn't want to be moved around and live the "military family" lifestyle.

We don't have any kids and we've only been married about 25 months.

She wants me to be at home, she wants me around. I'm at the very beginning stages here and I'm simply in an information gathering phase at this point.

While she would rather me not be deployed, I really think she would be ok, but we'll definitely talk more about it when I get more details.

Right there you said it all. You have two choices. In or Out. In will most likely cost you your wife. Because you are going to be gone. You are going to be deployed. She is NOT going to be alright with you being deployed. Even the 25 year military wife is not OK with their husband being deployed. They have just learned to live with it.

So if you go in and she doesn't want to "live the military lifestyle" then you are going to force something on her she has already indicated she doesn't want. Because like it or not if you are in the service. Even in the NG she is going to be part of it. You will be gone for a minimum of 6 months for initial training. Perhaps longer. The military has this bad habit of putting you where THEY need you and not where YOU want. So your wife is either going to be separated from you for long periods of time or have to be a camp follower.

I will give you the same advice I gave my son a couple of years ago. Stay married. Stay civilian. My son had been married about a year and has a young son. He was 25. Decided that perhaps he should look in the Marines. If he had done this prior to getting married I would have been behind him 100%. But as a just married man with a young son I could not in good faith encourage him to join the military because I know what it would most likely cost him. This advice, father to son, cut deeply into my heart. Because I wanted nothing more for my son than to follow me into the Corps. But at that point in his life it was not the best thing he could have done.

[Bree]

I am kind of with Cannibul on this JT. I'm nervous about your wife. I would hate to see you step up to serve which I think is great and support 100% only to lose your wife which is not great. I don't know if she would walk. I'm not sure anyone really knows... probably not even she knows. But it is definitely a risk.

I can't tell you not to go. My personal opinion is that I would rather you stay here with us. Of course that is selfish since I like to read your posts.

I can only stress again that you need to really probe her feelings for both of your sakes. The nation needs you but not so much as to have your marriage destroyed because of your service. In that respect there are a lot of other ways that you can serve which would preclude a lot of these potential problems. They may not be as exciting but they are still quite valuable and noble.

[jtkratzer]

Originally Posted by Cannibul

Right there you said it all. You have two choices. In or Out. In will most likely cost you your wife. Because you are going to be gone. You are going to be deployed. She is NOT going to be alright with you being deployed. Even the 25 year military wife is not OK with their husband being deployed. They have just learned to live with it.

So if you go in and she doesn't want to "live the military lifestyle" then you are going to force something on her she has already indicated she doesn't want. Because like it or not if you are in the service. Even in the NG she is going to be part of it. You will be gone for a minimum of 6 months for initial training. Perhaps longer. The military has this bad habit of putting you where THEY need you and not where YOU want. So your wife is either going to be separated from you for long periods of time or have to be a camp follower.

I will give you the same advice I gave my son a couple of years ago. Stay married. Stay civilian. My son had been married about a year and has a young son. He was 25. Decided that perhaps he should look in the Marines. If he had done this prior to getting married I would have been behind him 100%. But as a just married man with a young son I could not in good faith encourage him to join the military because I know what it would most likely cost him. This advice, father to son, cut deeply into my heart. Because I wanted nothing more for my son than to follow me into the Corps. But at that point in his life it was not the best thing he could have done.

Originally Posted by Bree

I am kind of with Cannibul on this JT. I'm nervous about your wife. I would hate to see you step up to serve which I think is great and support 100% only to lose your wife which is not great. I don't know if she would walk. I'm not sure anyone really knows... probably not even she knows. But it is definitely a risk.

I can't tell you not to go. My personal opinion is that I would rather you stay here with us. Of course that is selfish since I like to read your posts.

I can only stress again that you need to really probe her feelings for both of your sakes. The nation needs you but not so much as to have your marriage destroyed because of your service. In that respect there are a lot of other ways that you can serve which would preclude a lot of these potential problems. They may not be as exciting but they are still quite valuable and noble.

While I absolutely appreciate the advice both of you have given, I'd like to clarify a bit. When I asked her about military service and considering the differences between active service compared to the National Guard, she said she didn't want me to go into the military as a full-time career. She doesn't want to be moved around from base to base, overseas, all that stuff that comes along with being a career soldier.

While I'm sure, as you both said, she would prefer me to be at home and next to her every night, she understands and is ok with what's involved. We're still just getting started on gather information.

With the National Guard, I won't go in unless I can stay put in this area as my home. Sure, there will be deployment, there will be mobilizations for stuff, but I won't be moved from base to base. That is what she meant by "military lifestyle" where you're constantly moved. If it comes down to being gone for basic and then AIT training and then I'm home. Fine. If I'm deployed and then come back home fine. She doesn't want to move around the world to the various bases where people who go in full fledged regular service with the Army or Marines get shuffled around to.

These are more questions I need to ask about and I'm going to check in with a friend of the family who has Fort Indiantown Gap as his "base" for the Guard.

[matlt]

If you join the reserve, you will not, can not be forced to move, unless for training or preparing for deployment. Your home will remain your home, the guard can not change that. Even if you have to drill in another state for some reason, the guard will pay for your plane ticket to fly out there every month. However, you could very likely spend 3 years of your 6 year active commitment overseas. You could also be stop lossed into an 8 year active agreement if a deployment falls close to your ETS date. Depending on the unit, guard gets deployed just as often as active duty. The only thing you can be sure of is that you won't be forced to move unless temporarily for training purposes.

[jtkratzer]

The wife is completely supportive. She understands the deployment and the commitment involved. She just wants me to come home in one piece without any new holes. I'm looking to do something for an MOS that will be beneficial for a career. I don't expect to be taking an MOS that involves kicking doors in and being lined up in the sights of the enemy. But, we'll see what happens. She asked if I could promise her I'd be safe...the only thing I could tell her was I can't promise her I'm safe now at work when I have to go to Philadelphia, Reading, and Lancaster...

[Bree]

Originally Posted by jtkratzer

The wife is completely supportive. She understands the deployment and the commitment involved. She just wants me to come home in one piece without any new holes. I'm looking to do something for an MOS that will be beneficial for a career. I don't expect to be taking an MOS that involves kicking doors in and being lined up in the sights of the enemy. But, we'll see what happens. She asked if I could promise her I'd be safe...the only thing I could tell her was I can't promise her I'm safe now at work when I have to go to Philadelphia, Reading, and Lancaster...

Okey Dokey. If you want it... go for it!

[jtkratzer]

Originally Posted by Bree

Okey Dokey. If you want it... go for it!

We're not done talking yet and I had the first attempted phone call from a recruiter today while I was on the phone from work. We're going to look more specifically at the MOS options tonight.

I've explained to her that I won't/can't do this without her being 100% behind me and completely supportive. I also told her that I won't do this if I have the slightest concern that our marriage would suffer. She said I have nothing to worry about with our marriage. We've known each other since we were 16 and we dated for a loooonnng time before getting married. That part, I'm not concerned about. Another thing that will make this easier, I think, is that we don't yet have kids, so she won't have that to deal with on her own.

[Bree]

Originally Posted by jtkratzer

We're not done talking yet and I had the first attempted phone call from a recruiter today while I was on the phone from work. We're going to look more specifically at the MOS options tonight.

I've explained to her that I won't/can't do this without her being 100% behind me and completely supportive. I also told her that I won't do this if I have the slightest concern that our marriage would suffer. She said I have nothing to worry about with our marriage. We've known each other since we were 16 and we dated for a loooonnng time before getting married. That part, I'm not concerned about. Another thing that will make this easier, I think, is that we don't yet have kids, so she won't have that to deal with on her own.

You are a good and responsible man. You have covered the ground that needed to be covered. So while we don't want to see you go, you must follow your star. We will be here when you get back. Just don't get whacked!!!

[jtkratzer]

Originally Posted by Bree

You are a good and responsible man. You have covered the ground that needed to be covered. So while we don't want to see you go, you must follow your star. We will be here when you get back. Just don't get whacked!!!

Thanks, we'll see what happens and I'll keep this updated as I go.