Friend was recently discharged...what now?

[jtkratzer]

I have a buddy of mine who was in for 8 years, right out of high school, re-enlisted and was just discharged in February. He married a German girl and had been dating her for a long time. She did a study abroad during his last tour in Iraq and came home with psychological issues...she has now told him she doesn't love him anymore and this was all conveniently after he gave up his opportunity to have his car and all of his possessions shipped home without having to pay. It sounds like his marriage is over and he now doesn't really have a clue what he wants to do. He thinks he'd like to do something in the business world, but he has no education past high school. With his wife, the rug was pretty much yanked out from under his feet. He was planning on either going to college or getting a job in Germany while she finished college. He just had his car imported and he has a fully furnished apartment with all of his stuff there.

He's not sure what he wants to do, where he wants to live now, and he's in a tough spot. He doesn't really know what he wants to do for a career. I suggested perhaps law enforcement at least to get himself into something. He's been out since February and hasn't done anything constructive since then. He just bought a ticket to go back to Germany the first week of May to get things sorted out there, but still no plans on a job or getting into a school.

Any suggestions?

[Ed Ely]

Straight up! If you really want to help
your bud, get him into the head doctor
for some TLC. At this point he needs
it and will thank you for it sometime
down the road.

Ed

[Sharkbait]

Tell him to stay in Germany and learn the language fluently then come back stateside and get a fat job with an American company that needs German speakers. Tell him to sell all of his stuff over there, the exchange rate is fantastic right now converting EU currency to dollars, he will make a killing.

then go see the shrink.

[jtkratzer]

Originally Posted by Sharkbait

Tell him to stay in Germany and learn the language fluently then come back stateside and get a fat job with an American company that needs German speakers. Tell him to sell all of his stuff over there, the exchange rate is fantastic right now converting EU currency to dollars, he will make a killing.

then go see the shrink.

He's already fluent...we took 4 years in high school together and he's spent the last 8 years in Germany when he's not been in combat zones on tours.

[jtkratzer]

Originally Posted by Ed Ely

Straight up! If you really want to help
your bud, get him into the head doctor
for some TLC. At this point he needs
it and will thank you for it sometime
down the road.

Ed

He seems to be handling it ok, but I'll suggest it to him.

[Amkus]

Tell him to become a merc and make 100k+ a year.

[RoyG]

What did he do in the Amry?

There is always contrat work in OIF/OEF. Since he is now single with no bills(I hope) he will be able to bank all his money while he is there.

[Badshot]

Plenty of contract jobs to DoD in Europe.. He just needs to go back to the ETS folks and talk to them again... he should still have access to the VA even over there. Plenty of jobs to be had if he looks.

I'll second the idea that he should talk with a shrink.. even if he's handling it OK by appearance, it's messed up to exit the military and deal with the civilian world especially after dealing with combat for any length of time. The civilian world just doesn't make sense and they (joe average) doesn't get it. Makes it damn hard to find a support structure.

[ichy_trigger]

I wish him the best but things are things, I would suggest he look at the gov contractors, not just in combat roles, there are plenty of stateside jobs.

[Dibs50]

He needs some time to get his head together. There is nothing that will replace time. The further he gets away from the bad experience (time wise) the better he will be.

I had a buddy who married a German girl here in the states. The day after their one year anniversary, she left him. She'd gotten her US citizenship so he was now expendable. It really sucked. Some people can be so cold.

I was in a long term relationship (8 years total of which 3 yrs we were engaged) when I broke it off. I finally woke up and smelled the coffee and realized that only one of us was trying. It took me a summer to get my head back on right and get some direction. It may take your buddy longer if he's got some Psych issues.
I'd get him back in school as soon as he gets his stuff together. In a 4 year school (at least when I was there 20 years ago), you don't have to declare a major when you get in. You've got a couple of years to do it. There are general courses that he'll have to take but he can also take electives and try out different areas of interest. By this time, he should have a clue as to what he wants to do.

I'm not military or former military but I'd think the GI bill would be the way to go for school and the VA for help dealing with his mental health issues.

Just continue being a supportive friend. Wish him luck. Tell him that there are many people out there who thank him for his service. I am one of them. Good luck!