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Old 03-12-2008, 07:31 PM   #1
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A Report Card For George Bush

A Report Card
For George Bush
By Douglas Herman
3-11-8 Despite the harsh criticism of George W. Bush and his falling (failing?) popularity with the American public, an objective scorecard of his seven years in office shows exemplary grades. See if you don't agree.

A. Increase Enormous Defense Spending: A+
B. Increase Worldwide feeling of Fear: A+
C. Increase foreign feelings of ill-will towards ALL Americans: A+
D. Increase spending for Airport War on Water (AWW): A+
E. Increase multi-Billion dollar pipeline of US dollars to Bush/ Cheney- -connected corporations and cronies: A+
F. Increase Inflationary Destruction of US dollar: A+
G. Increase loss of American jobs to unlawful immigrants: A+
H. Increase empty rhetoric towards Global War on Terror: A+
I. Increase divisiveness among ALL Americans: A+
J. Increase move towards Orwellian full spectrum security state: A+
K. Increase mistrust in ALL institutions of government by ALL American citizens: A+
L. Increase loss of public accountability: A+
M. Increase validity of Conspiracy Theorists: A+
N. Increase loss of faith in simple human goodness: A+
O. Decrease worldwide human health, welfare & security: A+
P. Decrease self-esteem of ALL Americans: A+
Q. Decrease competition & sense of fair play: A+
R. Decrease US environmental protections: A+
S. Decrease REAL security at US ports & borders: A+
T. Decrease confidence in fair elections: A+
U. Decrease Constitutional-protected rights: A+
V. Decrease buying power of US dollar: A+
W. Decrease overall confidence & commitment of US servicemen: A+
X. Decrease US standard of living: A+
Y. Decrease belief in mainstream media: A+
Z. Decrease future prospects of ALL young Americans: a+

As anyone can see, from A to Z, the current US president has achieved over-all highs grades in ALL the categories that matter most to his core constituents.

Satirist, screenwriter, ceritified firefighter, Douglas Herman lives and works near Bullhead City, Arizona. douglasherman7@yahoo.com

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Old 03-12-2008, 08:02 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AZXD View Post
A Report Card
For George Bush
By Douglas Herman
3-11-8 Despite the harsh criticism of George W. Bush and his falling (failing?) popularity with the American public, an objective scorecard of his seven years in office shows exemplary grades. See if you don't agree.

A. Increase Enormous Defense Spending: A+
B. Increase Worldwide feeling of Fear: A+
C. Increase foreign feelings of ill-will towards ALL Americans: A+
D. Increase spending for Airport War on Water (AWW): A+
E. Increase multi-Billion dollar pipeline of US dollars to Bush/ Cheney- -connected corporations and cronies: A+
F. Increase Inflationary Destruction of US dollar: A+
G. Increase loss of American jobs to unlawful immigrants: A+
H. Increase empty rhetoric towards Global War on Terror: A+
I. Increase divisiveness among ALL Americans: A+
J. Increase move towards Orwellian full spectrum security state: A+
K. Increase mistrust in ALL institutions of government by ALL American citizens: A+
L. Increase loss of public accountability: A+
M. Increase validity of Conspiracy Theorists: A+
N. Increase loss of faith in simple human goodness: A+
O. Decrease worldwide human health, welfare & security: A+
P. Decrease self-esteem of ALL Americans: A+
Q. Decrease competition & sense of fair play: A+
R. Decrease US environmental protections: A+
S. Decrease REAL security at US ports & borders: A+
T. Decrease confidence in fair elections: A+
U. Decrease Constitutional-protected rights: A+
V. Decrease buying power of US dollar: A+
W. Decrease overall confidence & commitment of US servicemen: A+
X. Decrease US standard of living: A+
Y. Decrease belief in mainstream media: A+
Z. Decrease future prospects of ALL young Americans: a+

As anyone can see, from A to Z, the current US president has achieved over-all highs grades in ALL the categories that matter most to his core constituents.

Satirist, screenwriter, ceritified firefighter, Douglas Herman lives and works near Bullhead City, Arizona. douglasherman7@yahoo.com

Now see there? And they say he has no significant accomplishments.
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Old 03-13-2008, 12:36 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AZXD View Post
A Report Card
For George Bush
By Douglas Herman
3-11-8 Despite the harsh criticism of George W. Bush and his falling (failing?) popularity with the American public, an objective scorecard of his seven years in office shows exemplary grades. See if you don't agree.

A. Increase Enormous Defense Spending: A+
B. Increase Worldwide feeling of Fear: A+
C. Increase foreign feelings of ill-will towards ALL Americans: A+
D. Increase spending for Airport War on Water (AWW): A+
E. Increase multi-Billion dollar pipeline of US dollars to Bush/ Cheney- -connected corporations and cronies: A+
F. Increase Inflationary Destruction of US dollar: A+
G. Increase loss of American jobs to unlawful immigrants: A+
H. Increase empty rhetoric towards Global War on Terror: A+
I. Increase divisiveness among ALL Americans: A+
J. Increase move towards Orwellian full spectrum security state: A+
K. Increase mistrust in ALL institutions of government by ALL American citizens: A+
L. Increase loss of public accountability: A+
M. Increase validity of Conspiracy Theorists: A+
N. Increase loss of faith in simple human goodness: A+
O. Decrease worldwide human health, welfare & security: A+
P. Decrease self-esteem of ALL Americans: A+
Q. Decrease competition & sense of fair play: A+
R. Decrease US environmental protections: A+
S. Decrease REAL security at US ports & borders: A+
T. Decrease confidence in fair elections: A+
U. Decrease Constitutional-protected rights: A+
V. Decrease buying power of US dollar: A+
W. Decrease overall confidence & commitment of US servicemen: A+
X. Decrease US standard of living: A+
Y. Decrease belief in mainstream media: A+
Z. Decrease future prospects of ALL young Americans: a+

As anyone can see, from A to Z, the current US president has achieved over-all highs grades in ALL the categories that matter most to his core constituents.

Satirist, screenwriter, ceritified firefighter, Douglas Herman lives and works near Bullhead City, Arizona. douglasherman7@yahoo.com

Pass more restrictive gun legislation. F
Leave us open to another attack. F
Steal more of our money through higher taxation. F
Kill terrorists on their own ground. A+
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Old 03-13-2008, 12:50 AM   #4
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Pass more restrictive gun legislation. F
Leave us open to another attack. F Open borders???
Steal more of our money through higher taxation. F
Kill terrorists on their own ground. A+
.
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"You are the instruments that God is going to use to bring about universal change, and that is why Barack has captured the youth. And he has involved young people in a political process that they didn't care anything about. That's a sign. When the Messiah speaks, the youth will hear, and the Messiah is absolutely speaking."...Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan


RON PAUL IN 2008
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Old 03-13-2008, 03:48 AM   #5
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Hey!!! Wait a minute! This can't be right.

Quote:
P. Decrease self-esteem of ALL Americans: A+
I love myself more and more each day!!
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Old 03-13-2008, 03:52 AM   #6
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Obviously an overly harsh exaggeration and criticism of Bush's tenure.

But point "C" I have found to be accurate and extremely sad.

I travel abroad about twice a year to the far East (SE Asia).

It is so sad to see American kids trying to pass themselves off as Canadians.

Besides, for this kind of thing, I find the "Bush Resume" much more amusing! (and accurate)....LOL

Peace,
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Last edited by Delija; 03-13-2008 at 03:55 AM.
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Old 03-13-2008, 04:01 AM   #7
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George W. Bush Resume

Past work experience:
  • Ran for congress and lost.
  • Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
  • Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas, company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
  • Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using tax-payer money. Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago White Sox.
  • With fathers help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.
    Accomplishments: Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union. Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America. Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money. Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history.
  • Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my fathers appointments to the Supreme Court.
Accomplishments as president:


  • Attacked and took over two countries.
Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.
Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in US history.
Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips than any other president in US history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.
Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.
Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.
Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
Signed more laws and executive orders circumventing the Constitution than any president in US history.
Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. (http://www.hyperreal.org/~dana/marches/)
Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (the 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleezza Rice has an Chevron oil tanker named after her).
Had more states to simultaneously go bankrupt than any president in the history of the United States.
Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.
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Last edited by Delija; 03-13-2008 at 04:05 AM.
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Old 03-13-2008, 04:02 AM   #8
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First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.
First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.
Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
First president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
My biggest life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.
First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
First US president to establish a secret shadow government.
Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
With a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
Fist US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
First US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for government contracts.
Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol building. After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.
In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the history of the United States.
Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.
In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the civil war.
Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

Records and References:
  • At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).
  • AWOL from National Guard and Deserted the military during a time of war.
  • Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
  • All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
  • All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
  • All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public view.
  • Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public review.
  • For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering.)
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Old 03-13-2008, 04:25 AM   #9
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Geez D Come on... He's got a really nice smile.
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Old 03-13-2008, 04:36 AM   #10
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Geez D Come on... He's got a really nice smile.
No doubt. Even my now ex-wife who hated him with a passion thought he was "hot"....LOL (I always heard the ladies liked a guy in a military flight suit with a stuffed crotch)...

Anyway, I certainly did not write any of that stuff, and don't care one way or another about the majority of it.

It is interesting that GWB is the only president to have been elected with a criminal record though.

Peace,
D.
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