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03-08-2007, 11:22 PM
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#1 |
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XDTalk 100 Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 321
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Subject: THE REPUBLICAN FISHERMAN
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her
altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude. She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican." "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me." The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat." "I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem . You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault. I acquired this from the Olympic Arms forum.
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"One of the most essential branches of English liberty is the freedom of one's house. A man's house is his castle."-- James Otis "Foreign influence is truly the Grecian horse to a republic. We cannot be too careful to exclude its influence."-- Alexander Hamilton Gun control means never having to say I missed you-thoseshirts.com |
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03-09-2007, 04:49 AM
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#2 |
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XDTalk 100 Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 347
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Good 'un
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"One bleeding-heart type asked me in a recent interview if I did not agree that 'violence begets violence.' I told him that it is my earnest endeavor to see that it does. I would like very much to ensure--and in some cases I have--that any man who offers violence to his fellow citizen begets a whole lot more in return than he can enjoy." - Col. Jeff Cooper A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. |
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03-09-2007, 05:54 AM
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#3 |
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XDTalk 100 Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Douglassville, Pa
Posts: 145
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LOL! Gotta love it.
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Bill USAF '76 - '86 "On every question of construction let us carry ourselves back to the time when the Constitution was adopted, recollect the spirit manifested in the debates, and instead of trying what meaning can be squeezed out of the text, or invented against it, conform to the probable one which was passed." --- Thomas Jefferson |
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03-09-2007, 06:36 AM
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#4 |
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XDTalk 1K Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: TN (In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina...)
Posts: 1,039
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Classic!
I inserted Frank and BD into the story as I read along and it made it even better...
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The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. - Sir George Bernard Shaw |
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03-09-2007, 06:40 AM
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#5 |
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XDTalk 10K Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 19,359
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That's great! I hadn't heard that one before.
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03-09-2007, 06:40 AM
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#6 | ||
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XDTalk 5K Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Maine
Posts: 6,012
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Quote:
 Good one--both to KarolinaKid's comment and the opening post of this thread! Frank 
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XD-40 Service, bi-tone Crossbreed Supertuck CCW holder _________________ Quote:
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03-09-2007, 07:48 AM
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#7 | |
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XDTalk 100 Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 347
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Quote:
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"One bleeding-heart type asked me in a recent interview if I did not agree that 'violence begets violence.' I told him that it is my earnest endeavor to see that it does. I would like very much to ensure--and in some cases I have--that any man who offers violence to his fellow citizen begets a whole lot more in return than he can enjoy." - Col. Jeff Cooper A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions. |
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03-09-2007, 07:56 AM
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#8 |
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XDTalk 1K Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Western NY
Posts: 1,488
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An oldie but a goodie
That joke has been around a long time in different formats, but it never fails to please! First time I heard it the balloonist was a marketing exec (aka marketeer) and the fisherman was an engineer.
Thanks for posting the joke. |
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