Willie should be proud - XDTalk Forums - Your HS2000/SA-XD Information Source!

**Frenchy** · 01-22-2007, 11:56 AM

Bill Clinton recently complained that he felt slighted by the Navy because Ronald Reagan got an aircraft carrier named after him but he didn't.

The US Navy, being the sensitive organization we all know that it is obliged President Clinton and promptly renamed one of it's newest Aircraft Carriers the:

USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1)

The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton "for his foresight in military budget cuts" and his conduct while president. The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which although they cannot be launched or captured on the 100 foot flight deck, but form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board. The 20 person crew is completely diversified, including members of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation. This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may sound hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defense, but instead in times of conflict the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada. The ship may be positioned near the Democratic National Party Headquarters for photo-ops and can be used extensively for social experimentation and whatever other worthless jobs, the ex-commander-in-chief and his wife can think of.

It is largely rumored that the ship will also be the set for the upcoming season of MTV's "The Real World."

The ship was renamed and commissioned USS William J Clinton when someone realized the USS Blowfish was already taken.

slugger6 · 01-22-2007, 11:59 AM

That's a hoot! Thanks for posting it.

**DanTheEldest** · 01-22-2007, 12:04 PM

I love it. I'm assuming the captain has a regularly-issued stock of cigars in his stateroom?

ichy_trigger · 01-22-2007, 12:05 PM

I love it!

.45xd_sc · 01-22-2007, 12:15 PM

That gave me a good laugh!

FrankRizzoXD40 · 01-22-2007, 02:08 PM

LOL

Awesome, Frenchy!

Frank

sewerman · 01-22-2007, 03:40 PM

the USS BILLAREY was third choice!
LOL! thanks

rodnocker1 · 01-22-2007, 03:50 PM

Thanks Steve, that's priceless!

Brickboy240 · 01-22-2007, 03:55 PM

I'm surprised its that big.

Wheres the white flag that shuold be flying from that shorty flagpole?

If you ever tour the thing and somebody offers you a cigar on deck...I'd pass on it!

LOL

-Brickboy240

**Ed Ely** · 01-22-2007, 06:04 PM

LOL! That's a good one #2.

Ed

01-22-2007, 11:56 AM	#1
Frenchy XDTalk 10K Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Mid-Missouri Posts: 14,137	Willie should be proud Bill Clinton recently complained that he felt slighted by the Navy because Ronald Reagan got an aircraft carrier named after him but he didn't. The US Navy, being the sensitive organization we all know that it is obliged President Clinton and promptly renamed one of it's newest Aircraft Carriers the: USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton "for his foresight in military budget cuts" and his conduct while president. The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which although they cannot be launched or captured on the 100 foot flight deck, but form a very menacing presence. As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board. The 20 person crew is completely diversified, including members of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation. This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs. An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may sound hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere. The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defense, but instead in times of conflict the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada. The ship may be positioned near the Democratic National Party Headquarters for photo-ops and can be used extensively for social experimentation and whatever other worthless jobs, the ex-commander-in-chief and his wife can think of. It is largely rumored that the ship will also be the set for the upcoming season of MTV's "The Real World." The ship was renamed and commissioned USS William J Clinton when someone realized the USS Blowfish was already taken. __________________ ~SC Harvey~ "My first priority will be to reinstate the assault weapons ban as soon as I take office. Within 90 days, we will go back after kitchen table dealers, and work to end the gun show and internet sales loopholes. In the first year, I intend to work with Congress on a national no carry law, 1 gun a month purchase limits, and bans on all semi-automatic guns."--Barack Obama, VPC Fund Raiser, 2007

01-22-2007, 12:04 PM	#3
DanTheEldest XDTalk 5K Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 6,484	I love it. I'm assuming the captain has a regularly-issued stock of cigars in his stateroom? __________________ The only things more disturbing than the base ideologies of the new President are the lengths to which his supporters and apologists will go to try to convince themselves and the rest of us that he's not exactly who he says he is. The American abortion industry: helping rid the tired, huddled masses of their inconveniences and mistakes for four decades now. (But it's okay--the unborn aren't actually humans. What they are, we're not sure--but they're definitely not people.)

01-22-2007, 12:05 PM	#4
ichy_trigger XDTalk 5K Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Dayton, Ohio Posts: 7,986	I love it! __________________ "The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself." http://militarysignatures.com/signatures/member2645.png

01-22-2007, 02:08 PM	#6
FrankRizzoXD40 XDTalk 5K Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Maine Posts: 7,169	LOL Awesome, Frenchy! Frank __________________ XD-40 Service, bi-tone Crossbreed Supertuck CCW holder _________________ Evil is powerless if the good are unafraid. -Ronald Reagan

01-22-2007, 03:40 PM	#7
sewerman XDTalk 100 Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: hurricane alley,florida Posts: 227	the USS BILLAREY was third choice! LOL! thanks __________________ the armed citizen prevents tyranny "They that can give up an essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety!" Ben Franklin "When the government fears the people, there is liberty. When the people fear the government there is tyranny!" Thomas Jefferson my job smells like poop, but it's bread and butter to me!

01-22-2007, 11:59 AM	#2
slugger6 XDTalk 20K Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Ohio Posts: 20,928	That's a hoot! Thanks for posting it.

01-22-2007, 12:15 PM	#5
.45xd_sc XDTalk Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Florence, South Carolina Posts: 35	That gave me a good laugh!

01-22-2007, 03:50 PM	#8
rodnocker1 XDTalk 500 Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Leona, Texas Posts: 589	Thanks Steve, that's priceless! __________________ Rodney

01-22-2007, 03:55 PM	#9
Brickboy240 XDTalk 5K Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Houston, TX, USA Posts: 9,805	I'm surprised its that big. Wheres the white flag that shuold be flying from that shorty flagpole? If you ever tour the thing and somebody offers you a cigar on deck...I'd pass on it! LOL -Brickboy240 __________________ The top 25% of wage earners in America pay 86% of all federal income taxes collected. (according to 2007 IRS website data) Es mejor morir a pie que vivir arrodillado Volvo...the Swedish Brick!

01-22-2007, 06:04 PM	#10
Ed Ely XDTalk 5K Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: 37.65N -84.76W (Elev. 932 ft) Posts: 7,788 Blog Entries: 1	LOL! That's a good one #2. Ed

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