John Kerry Job Application

[panther308]

JOB APPLICATION

NAME: John Kerry

RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including one in Washington DC, worth multi-millions. I served in Vietnam (four months).

EXPERIENCE: Law Enforcement. In my career as a U.S. Senator, I've voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA, and Defense bill. I ordered the city of Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire. I served in Vietnam (four months).

MILITARY: I served in Vietnam (four months). I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four months). I then returned to the U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I served in Vietnam (four months). I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My book "Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier", shows how I truly feel about the military. I served in Vietnam (four months).

COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have a law degree but did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: After College and Vietnam, I ran for the U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no real world experience except marrying very rich women and running their companies vicariously through them. I served in Vietnam (four months).



ACCOMPLISHMENTS: As a U.S. Senator I set the record for



the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against their budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. I served in Vietnam (four months).

My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. I make little or no charitable contributions and have neveragreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts, despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million. I served in Vietnam (four months).

I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although I blame George Bush for sending all of the other jobs out of Country. I served in Vietnam (four months).

Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. I served in Vietnam (four months).

RECORDS AND REFERENCES: None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months).

PERSONAL I practice my Catholic faith whenever cameras are present. I ride a Serotta Bike. I love to ski/snowboard. I call my Gulfstream V Jet the "Flying Squirrel". I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scaramouche".

I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture

I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large, polluting, inefficient vehicles and blame George Bush for our energy problems. I served in Vietnam
(four months).

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING.

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[Wren-Ro 'V']

Well, he did serve 4 months in Nam, although I would not be surprised if he was drafted. I wonder what happened to those who refused to serve when drafted..

[Dhunter55]

Four months more than GW or Dick Cheney.

[Mark S.]

"An aide to the prime minister of Canada called President Bush a moron. Well that's not fair. Here's a guy who never worked a day in his life, got rich off his Dad's money, lost the popular vote and ended up president. That's not a moron, that's genius!" —Jay Leno

[DoubleClick]

He lost already.

[Mark S.]

"President Bush, not looking good. His approval rating is down to 38. 38! That's lower than Dick Cheney's pulse. In fact, his approval rating is so low he's actually eligible for FEMA assistance now. And It gets worse. According to the new NBC/Wall Street Journal poll, among African Americans, President Bush's approval rating is 2 percent. You know who the 2 percent are? Condoleezza Rice and Clarence Thomas." --Jay Leno

[mgeoffriau]

When the Dems start looking to Jay Leno for material, you know they must be getting desperate.

[Mark S.]

"For the first time ever, Republicans in Congress -- Republicans! -- are demanding to know the president's exit strategy from Iraq. Yeah, in response the president said I have an exit strategy, I'm leaving office in 2008." --Conan O'Brien

[aiformula]

Truman had a lower approval rating than Bush did in his waning months in office and he is widely considered one of the stronger presidents for his willingness to forgo personal gain in an effort to do what he thought was right, not only for the people of his country, but for the world in general. The reason for this low rating? The Korean War. Another conflict the UN wanted but it refused to back once it hadn't been resolved in 6 months or less. We ultimately cowtowed to the UN and instead of finishing the damn job, settled on a cease fire and a DMZ that splits the country to this day. And now they are going to be one of the next major thorns, what with them reportedly testing a missile later this week which will supposedly be able to reach into the continental US.

[Frenchy]

Originally Posted by Wren-Ro 'V'

Well, he did serve 4 months in Nam, although I would not be surprised if he was drafted. I wonder what happened to those who refused to serve when drafted..

He was an officer and was not drafted. However...He did try to beg out of going the first time around.
He knew the rules!...Three Purple Hearts and you're outta there. Politically convenient!