funny quotes from cops in the field

[Verm]

Quotes from Cops with a sense of humor;


"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out
after you wear them awhile."

"Take your hands off the car again, Slick, and I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know,
that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write
anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will
help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"


"Warning! You want a warning? OK., I'm warning you not to do that again or
I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or
not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride
on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey poop."

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

"Just how big were those two beers?"

"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At
least you know someone who can post your bail."

"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Sign "here."

[USN RM3]

Verm thats good!! There is one more....

If you run from me and get away, that will cost me 3 days with no pay....a bullet costs me .76 cents....you get the picture!

[pamato9]

"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Sign "here." lmao 2x

I'm gonna forward those to my brother who plays a street and swat beat up in VA. His favorite has always been "press hard. three copies"

too funny
pt[/quote]

[Son of Norway]

One night a drunk man fell in the fountain by the bus depot. The fountain is about 18 inches deep. He was clinging to the side of the fountain hanging on for dear life muttering "help....help me...."

When the cop came he looked at the guy and said "Hey...MARK SPITZ!"

Cracked me up.

[indianbullet]

i kinda like "thanks for playing"

[Trooper]

My fav is and always be:

"We used to have a quota, but now we can write all the tickets we want."


2nd place is: "You need to move out smartly, or in your case, just move out."