The 45's grip is just a touch more to get around on... My Dad has the 9mm XDm I have the 45. I'd say the 45 with the small palm swell is probably like the 9mm with the medium or large...
I can shoot both equally well.... The XDm45 compact is my EDC.
"The police cannot protect the citizen at this stage of our development, and they cannot even protect themselves in many cases. It is up to the private citizen to protect himself and his family, and this is not only acceptable, but mandatory." Jeff Cooper